


Resonance

by Moriavis



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Earth, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brief Mentions of Bullying, Demi!Mick, Domestic, Immature Soul Bonds, M/M, Mick makes bad decisions, Plot, Unrequited Mick/Len, ace!mick, future Barry/Len
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2018-06-05 08:30:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6697447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moriavis/pseuds/Moriavis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard Snart met his soulmate when he was twenty-three years old.</p><p>It changed his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Resonance

**Author's Note:**

> First thing: thanks to saekhwa and dungeonmarm for the betas, as always.
> 
> Secondly: this is the soulmate au that no one asked me for. Guys. This is going to be a monster of a fic. I am genuinely, horribly intimidated by how long this thing is going to be. I hope you enjoy it! I'll be over here by myself, freaking out a little.
> 
> The rating will go up if needed, and I will add additional tags as needed with each chapter. Thank you so much!

~*~

"You have great timing!" Kelly—according to her name tag—said, beaming a smile as she handed Leonard his ticket. "There's a tour starting just over there." She pointed to a small group of people milling about near the entrance to the exhibits.

"Thanks," Leonard said, and he gave her a cocky smile before he made his way over to the group, adrenaline making him restless. 

He took a deep breath and counted to ten. He wasn't going to be like his dad and lose his cool. He was going to case the museum as many times as he needed to before he made his move and got his hands on the Bialya Sapphire. It was going to be his first big score, enough to pull him out of the petty thievery he and Mick had fallen into, and he could afford to take his time.

"Hello, everyone!" The tour guide gave a cheerful wave, gesturing for everyone to come closer. "Welcome to the Gilpin Collection. We have a little bit of everything here, so let's get started." She led them into the first room of the collection and gestured to the left. "Here, you'll see the portrait of Thomas, Gilpin, an eighteenth century merchant…"

Leonard tuned out the tour guide's voice, trailing near the end of the group and cataloging everyone he passed—some students, several older people who had nothing better to do with their lives, a few kids with their moms. The first room was full of paintings, and Leonard stepped close to peer at them appreciatively, noting the rope that cordoned them off. The museum most likely had a pressure sensor, perhaps even a magnetic anti-theft monitor; that was something he'd have to consider when he approached the sapphire.

He took out a pack of gum from his pocket and unwrapped a piece, popping it into his mouth as he nodded at something the tour guide was saying. His eye caught on a little boy, staring up at him curiously, and Leonard smiled. "Hey, kid. Gum?" The boy nodded, and Leonard cast a look at the kid's mother. "If that's all right?"

The woman smiled and slid her hand through her son's hair. "That's fine. Remember, honey, it's for chewing, not swallowing."

The kid nodded obediently and then held out his hand, his eyes expectant as he watched Leonard. Leonard smirked and slid a second piece out of his pack, passing it over. Their hands brushed and—

— _and_ —

Heat bloomed from the tips of their fingers, racing up Leonard's arm. There was a stillness in his mind as he stared into the boy's hazel eyes, watched his pupils blow wide and dark. Their hearts beat together, they breathed as one, every cell attuned. The air was both too hot and too cold, Leonard's skin prickling in goosebumps, and there was such an intense sense of _recognition_ that Leonard couldn't breathe, couldn't focus on anything but the soft press of their fingers, unable to reconcile such an intimate understanding of someone, of this _child_ —

The world rushed back in, and Leonard blinked, taking a step back, disoriented and a little confused. The lights of the museum were too bright, and he raised a hand to rub at his eyes. He'd heard about the resonance, of course, but no one ever really talked about how it felt, how to prepare yourself. Leonard had never thought he would experience it for himself.

"I'm Barry!" the boy volunteered, and Leonard looked back down at him, elation and dread warring inside of him. He felt sick, shaky and weak, like he needed to sit down for a second before his knees gave out. His affined was a child.

Leonard sank down onto one knee anyway, and it put him on level with Barry, so he smiled. He was afraid it was weak, wobbly, but Barry smiled back immediately, wide and genuine. "Nice to meet you, Barry. You can call me Len."

"What do you say when someone gives you something?" Barry's mother chided gently, setting her hand on her son's shoulder.

"Thank you!" Barry said happily, jamming the gum into his mouth, and Leonard looked away, his gaze skating over the carpet, the paintings. He couldn't focus, would have been hard pressed to describe anything around him, and he got back up to his feet, wiping his sweaty palms against his jeans.

"I'm Nora Allen." Nora smiled and offered Leonard her hand, and after a second, he gave it a polite shake. What exactly was the procedure for introducing yourself to the mother of your affined? Leonard didn't know—he'd never been one to think about the romance of finding someone you were bound to. He'd had better things to do with his time than daydream.

"Leonard Snart," he responded. "There's no reason you can't call me Len, too."

"A pleasure," Nora said kindly, and she put her hand between Barry's shoulders, urging him to follow the tour guide as they walked behind him. Barry dug his heels in and pivoted away from her touch, reaching out to grab Leonard's hand. Leonard's heart raced with nervousness and adrenaline at the contact, even though Nora only laughed. "Have you made yourself a new friend?"

" _Best_ friend," Barry said proudly, and he waved his other hand at Leonard, his chubby little fingers clenched into a fist. Leonard blinked down at Barry again and offered his free hand. Barry dropped a red Hot Wheels Corvette onto his palm.

Leonard wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. "Nice ride, kid."

Barry beamed again. "It's my _favorite_."

"Don't bother Len with your toys," Nora admonished. "He's here for the tour, just like we are."

Barry pouted, and Leonard looked away, startled to realize they had passed several displays and he hadn't even noticed. Obviously casing the place wasn't going to work, not today. The sapphire would have to wait. The next room of the tour held the stones, starting at one end with naturally occurring rocks like quartz and citrine and heliotrope, with the cut and set jewels at the other end.

Barry tugged Leonard's hand again. "Len, Len, I can't see all of them! Up! I want up!"

Leonard cast a look over at Nora. "Do you mind?"

"I should be asking you that question," Nora said. "Do you promise you won't run off with him?"

"Cross my heart," Leonard said dryly.

"Up!" Barry demanded again, and Leonard's heart twisted with an almost alien affection.

"Impatient little twerp," he muttered, but that only made Barry smile wider as Leonard lifted Barry up and settled him on his shoulders, curling his hands around Barry's small shins. He made sure to time his steps with Nora, so she wouldn't think he was a freak who would run away with her son, and started actively paying attention to the tour, just in case Barry had any questions.

And he did have questions.

He questioned everything. He asked about the rocks, the history, asked questions about almost everything the tour guide said. Leonard was charmed despite himself. Barry was obviously a smart and sweet-natured little boy, and Leonard had no idea how this kid ended up affined to a two-bit criminal like himself.

"Who keeps kicking my shoulder?" Barry asked, and Leonard looked around to see if anyone else had heard the question before he stilled Barry's left foot, which he'd been using to thump Leonard's shoulder with his heel. Barry peered over Leonard's head at his feet, and when Leonard glanced up, he could see Barry's surprised expression, right before he kicked Leonard with his other foot and felt the same sensation.

"You keep doing that, we'll get bruises," Leonard said, and Barry took the censure seriously, going so still Leonard could barely feel him. He laughed at that and patted Barry's shin.

"Your son is adorable," one of the older women in the tour told Nora and Leonard, and Leonard blinked at her for several confused seconds while Nora shook her head.

"He's my son, thank you. Len's just a nice guy helping me out."

"Len's mine, not Mommy's," Barry announced cheerfully, and the others turned to look and laugh. 

Leonard wanted to sink into a mortified puddle, but instead, he said, "People aren't things. You can't own them like you can your red car." Leonard held up the little red Corvette he'd been carrying since Barry gave it to him, and Barry squealed in delight, grabbing onto Leonard's hair with one hand and the toy in the other.

The shining exhibit of the tour was the sapphire that Leonard had come for, and Leonard exhaled, watching Nora from the corners of his eyes as she leaned forward to get a closer look, Barry's weight on Leonard's shoulders shifting to mirror his mother's position. Leonard's plan had been simple: steal the sapphire, fence it, take Lisa and run. Barry was every reason why it wouldn't work anymore, and Leonard ached, his guilt deep and heavy in his chest.

"You're sad." Barry pressed his cheek to Leonard's and hugged him tight around his throat. "Don't be sad, Len. I'm here."

Leonard opened his mouth, not sure what he was going to say, a lie at the tip of his tongue, but instead he just tugged at Barry's arms to give him some breathing room. "You're choking me, kid."

"Sorry." Barry's voice was soft, sulky, and as close as they were, he could feel the tiny nugget of unhappiness in Barry before it was swept away by the excitement of another exhibit.

The tour ended after another twenty minutes, but Leonard barely noticed the time. One minute they were walking after the tour group, and the next, he and Nora were walking around the gift shop while Barry pointed out all the things he wanted to touch. They were all glass. He wasn't allowed to touch them.

"Okay, honey," Nora said, holding her hands out to Barry, "let's go get ice cream."

"Do _you_ like ice cream?" Barry asked Leonard, ignoring his mother.

"Who doesn't, kid?" Leonard said. "But I can't go with you."

"You're not coming with me?" Barry clambered down from Leonard's shoulder, blithely throwing himself into Leonard's arms, clinging to his shirt. Leonard caught him, his heart racing from the surprise, but Barry just stared up into Leonard's face like he'd fully expected Leonard to be able to catch him in the first place.

"Sorry, buddy," Leonard said, feeling a little awkward. "I've got other things I need to do." 

He thought he'd done a pretty good job of maneuvering Barry's mercurial emotions, but then Barry's face screwed up hard, and tears began to well up in his eyes. He started sniffling, and then threw his arms tight around Leonard's neck, burying his face against Leonard's shoulder. Nora stared at Leonard in blatant surprise, and Leonard gave a weak smile as he patted Barry's back. It's okay, he wanted to tell her. We're affined. He opened his mouth to tell her just that when the words stuck on his tongue. She'd think he was a pervert, having a bond with someone so young, that their bond was malformed, and Leonard instinctively shied away from the idea. There wasn't anything wrong with either of them, and their bond, thank god, was purely platonic. Barry didn't appear to be letting up on the crying, though, and Leonard's shirt was getting wet with tears and snot. 

"Hey, kid, there's no need for all of this. Don't cry. It's okay. I'll buy you a present to remember me by. What do you want?"

That last promise was enough for Barry to cautiously raise his head. "Really?"

Leonard gave Nora an embarrassed smile and refocused on Barry. "Absolutely." He managed to pry Barry away from him and gave him to Nora, and together they chose a polar bear from the stuffed animals.

"Thank you so much," Nora said. Barry gave Leonard a baleful pout from the cradle of Nora's arms. "I appreciate your help with him. I've never seen him get attached so quickly."

Leonard felt a stab of guilt. "He's had a big day. He's probably ready for a nap."

Nora nodded. "I think you're right. It was very nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Leonard said, and he reached out to ruffle Barry's hair. "Don't look like that. Your face will get stuck."

"Will not," Barry complained. Then his jaw firmed, and he held out his hand, waiting patiently for Leonard to reach out before dropping his Hot Wheels Corvette onto Leonard's palm again. "You won't forget me?" Leonard could understand Barry's nervousness—partially the bond, although that had settled with all the contact they'd had during the tour. The resonance was a difficult thing for an adult to experience without being overwhelmed. Barry must have been exhausted.

Leonard smiled again, perhaps more tenderly than he would have liked, and ruffled Barry's hair again. "I've got your favorite car. How could I forget?" 

Barry's bottom lip wobbled again, and then his face squinched up, stubborn and mulish. "Promise?"

"I'm not going to forget about you, Barry. I promise." 

That seemed to settle Barry down, and Nora smiled, small and apologetic. "Thank you, again. I hope you have a good afternoon."

Leonard nodded, a smile twisting the corner of his mouth up. Nora waved goodbye a final time, and then carried Barry out the door, Barry's eyes stayed locked on Leonard the entire way.

Once Barry was out of sight, Leonard took a breath. He wanted to run out, confess to Nora what had happened, but Barry was far, far too young. Barry liked rocks and space and dinosaurs, and he looked at Leonard like he hung the damned moon. There was no way Leonard could bring himself to steal the sapphire now. He had to find a different way.

Mick was going to be pissed.

Leonard stayed in the gift shop for fifteen more minutes, to give Nora and Barry time to leave, and then went to his bike, hoping the air would clear his head. It did, for a few blissful moments, but when the drive was over and he was back in front of the apartment that he shared with Mick, he could still feel Barry, the ghost of his weight on Leonard's shoulders. For a second he wondered where the kid was, if he was asleep, or if he actually got the ice cream he wanted. Leonard rubbed a hand over his face and let himself into the apartment to find Mick waiting, drumming his fingers on their small, crappy table.

"Took you long enough," Mick growled, and Leonard shook his head, slumping down into a chair.

Leonard paused for a long moment. "We've got a problem, Mick." 

"Temperature sensors? I could start a fire to confuse them. It won't be too bad."

"No fires," Leonard said, fixing Mick with a glare. He relented after a moment and looked back down at the table. "I can't do it anymore."

Mick stared at Leonard, eyes narrowing into a squint. "Can't do what? And don't say what I think you're saying."

Leonard closed his eyes. "I'm bonded."

"Shit." Mick shoved back from the table, the chair clattering when it pushed into the counter. "I hate affinities. They ruin everything."

"He's a kid," Leonard said. "I could ruin his life."

"What the hell?" Mick turned back to Leonard and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring. "That's messed up."

"Yeah." Leonard pressed his palms to his eyes and rubbed his face again. "Yeah, I know."

"What're we going to do now?" Mick asked. 

Leonard shook his head. "I need to do something different. Take time to plan it out."

Mick hesitated for a moment. "You gonna let me in on it when you figure it out?"

Leonard opened his eyes and looked up at Mick. "We're partners. I'm not leaving you behind."

Mick's shoulders relaxed incrementally. "Yeah. Okay. Figure it out. I've got your back." He crossed the small kitchen, squeezed Leonard's shoulder, and then frowned again. "Snart?"

"What?"

"You've got gum in your hair."

That _damned_ kid. Leonard pillowed his head on his arms and focused on taking a deep breath. Barry was a solid, sleeping presence in the back of his mind, and Leonard—

Leonard wasn't quite sure he was coping very well at all.

"I'll get the clippers," Mick said, giving Leonard's shoulder another heavy pat. 

Leonard took the red Corvette out of his pocket and rolled it across the table, back and forth, and wondered what the hell he was going to do now.

~*~


	2. Worth Fighting For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stealing was easy. Being a law abiding citizen? Far, far harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, to dungeonmarm and saekwha for the betas.
> 
> There's mentions of child abuse, the DHS and the foster parent system in the US. I tried to do as much research as I could, but some details may be fudged for sake of storytelling.

~*~

In a perfect world, Leonard's plan had been simple and elegant: steal the sapphire and fence it, take Lisa away from their father while he was passed out drunk and leave town, as fast and as far as that money would take them. Central was his home, but he would trade it in a heartbeat for his sister.

Now, though, there was someone else involved.

The new plan required a little less finesse but more effort. Leonard had never officially graduated high school, so he lifted a wallet or three, feeling a stab of guilt about Barry each time, but it paid for the GED test fee. Leonard had a gun in the apartment, always necessary when dealing with other lowlife criminals, and another wallet snatch paid for a weapons course he didn't need and a permit for concealed carry.

He started applying for positions—security guard here, IT there. It left a bad taste in his mouth. His father had gotten him used to taking things, and Leonard was so good at it that it was a simple and easy income. He had to get out of that mode of thought.

Leonard managed to get a position as a security guard for a warehouse down at the waterside, and although it was boring, it managed to get his bills paid every month, with a little left over for savings. He waited two months, so he would have pay stubs to show his steady income, and then cased his old house, taking pictures and video of Lewis and Lisa. Lewis never actually hit Lisa while Leonard was there—he was grateful, there was no way in hell he would let Lewis touch Lisa while he was there, and Leonard had a plan to follow. Leonard was hoping that with his testimony, he could go to the DHS and have Lisa remanded to his custody.

His plan worked perfectly. He was better than his father at this, better than anyone, and he wasn't going to let anyone keep him away from his sister anymore. It had already been too long.

The social worker assigned to Lisa's case, Mary Sims, met with him at her desk in a small stuffy office, and she looked over every piece of the paperwork he'd prepared to argue his case. "I can see you spent a lot of time preparing to take her," she said, business-like but not unkind. Leonard appreciated it.

"Yes." Leonard was calm. He wasn't going to show anyone how nervous he was. "I left when I was nineteen, but I didn't have a way to take her with me. Now I'm prepared."

"We found her mother"—Leonard's heart leapt into his throat, choking him for a second—"but she has waived her parental rights." Mary folded her hands on her desk, and Leonard could breathe again. "It's commendable that you want to take care of your sister but think seriously about the burden you'd be taking. You're twenty-three. She's nine, and she will need a lot of care and attention to recover from her situation."

"I understand," Leonard said. "Lisa has always been one of my top priorities."

She nodded. "Everything seems to be in order. We'll need to inspect your apartment, make sure you have running water and a room for Lisa, but there's no reason why you can't take her home in a day or two."

Leonard nodded. "I understand. Thank you."

She rose to her feet and Leonard followed suit, reaching out to shake her hand again. "Thank you, Mr. Snart. If you have the time, we could set up a house visit tomorrow. We'll talk to Lisa and see how she feels, and then we'll need to see the two of you together."

Leonard nodded once. "I have a lot of apologies to make. Leaving her there alone is only one of them."

"I'm hoping you'll have plenty of time to make it up to her."

Leonard left the DHS feeling cautiously optimistic and went home to his apartment, cleaning the already tidy space in case he might have forgotten something. He had already gone overboard, buying her a new bed and dresser, and as soon as he had her, he would take her shopping for clothes. Lisa wouldn't ever want for anything, Leonard would make sure of it.

The DHS called the next day, and Leonard sent Mick out for groceries, just in case his presence gave Mary second thoughts. The visit itself was short, professional, and Mary marked a series of checks on her clipboard before nodding. "You've done a good job, Mr. Snart," she said, turning to face him. "We'll speak with Lisa and try to get a supervised visit tomorrow."

"Thank you." Leonard took a breath and led Mary to the door. He was restless with undirected energy. Under normal circumstances, he would have gone down to the bar, maybe gotten into a fight. Of course, these were not normal circumstances.

~*~

Two days later, Leonard got the call from Mary, giving him a time. It made him nervous, a little scared, and he sat at his little kitchen table and looked around his small apartment. Was this enough? Was he even ready? The last time he'd spoken with Lisa was on her ninth birthday, which had been several months ago at that point. There was guilt, sure, but also a deep fear that Lisa wouldn't forgive him, that he was doing all of this only to let her go. He would let her go if she didn't want to be with him, of course, but he hoped that she would want to stay.

How strange it was, hoping for an outcome, feeling anything beyond his usual disdain or annoyance. Meeting his affined was already starting to create differences in the way he perceived the world—an optimism he hadn't possessed before, a sense of wonder. He was going to see Lisa. He was going to take her home, and he would give her the life she deserved, not the kind of life their father would have made her suffer.

Butterflies started in his stomach the moment he opened the door, locked it; they were there when he walked down the sidewalk to get to his car, and they were still there as he pulled into the parking lot of the DHS. He took a deep breath, hands tight around the steering wheel, and it was only when he forced his fingers to uncurl that he discovered he was shaking. It was something familiar, like the adrenaline rush he'd felt each time his father took him on one of his poorly planned heists, where he would stick his small hands into systems too complicated for him to understand and hope to himself that this time, he would make his father happy. This—seeing Lisa, taking her home, giving her a good life—meant something. Was important. Maybe the most important thing he could ever do with his life. All he had to do was not screw it up.

He opened the car door. Got out. He had to pause for a second to control his panicky breaths, digging into his pocket to curl around the little red car he'd taken to carrying with him, and then he walked up to the building. It was small, nondescript, brown-painted and tired looking. He pushed open the door and tried to give the receptionist a smile. It came out like a nervous twitch, there and gone again, and he filled out his name in the visitor's log before sitting in the waiting room. He took deep breaths and closed his eyes, forcing himself to remain still. He wouldn't give anyone, even a stranger, the satisfaction of seeing him skittish, so every time he found himself jiggling his leg or picking at his cuticles, he took a breath and held it, tightened and relaxed every muscle in an attempt to regulate his nervous tics.

When his name was called, Leonard went to the window to meet Mary and was led into a small room.

"We'll bring Lisa in shortly," she said, and Leonard nodded, resting his hands on the arms of his chair. He felt the urge to tap his nails against the plastic arm of the chair and then tamped it down. Keeping a cool head was a better idea. He couldn't let them know how much this meant to him.

When they finally brought Lisa in, for a moment Leonard felt like his heart had stopped. She was small, thin and frail, with long, dark hair that looked like someone had just recently trimmed it. Leonard felt tears sting his eyes, and he had to glance away for a second to regain control of himself. "Hey, Lise."

Lisa had been looking around the room in small, nervous bursts, and she focused on Leonard, her blue eyes narrow and wary and a little speculative. It made Leonard's chest hurt. "Lenny?" Lisa ventured. "What happened to your hair?"

Leonard blinked and ran a hand over his short hair. "A kid put some gum in it. We had to shave it all off." He attempted a shaky smile. "How do I look?"

Lisa gave him a serious, considering look. "I think I liked your hair better the other way."

"You mean I don't look dashing?" Leonard turned his head so Lisa could admire his profile, sneaking glances at her from the corner of his eye. She was so timid, and he knew exactly who to blame for that. He should have killed the bastard outright. He turned to face her. "Would you like to sit? You don't have to stand all the way over there."

Lisa nodded and took the chair across from Leonard, her shoulders drawing up as she sat on the edge of the seat, her hands hidden beneath her thighs. "Are you here to take me home?"

Leonard cleared his throat. "You're not going back to him, Lise. But if you want, if our caseworker says yes, you can come live with me instead."

Lisa raised her eyes to his, round and wide in surprise. "What's happening to Daddy?"

"He's going to jail," Leonard said bluntly. "For hurting us."

It happened in a blink of a second, Lisa, her wide frightened eyes staring at him across the small space—and then she catapulted into his arms, wrapping her small arms around Leonard's neck and squeezing. Leonard raised his hands awkwardly, rested one gently on her back and stroked her hair with the other, always gentle, forever gentle, if need be.

"You were gone so long, Lenny!" Lisa sobbed against his shoulder, and his heart stung at the truth of it. He shouldn't have left her alone. And damn it, there was no excuse for being gone for so long, no matter what his intentions had been.

"I'm sorry, Lise," Leonard said, his voice gravelly with emotion. "I'm so sorry I left. Can you forgive me?"

She sniffled loudly in Leonard's ear. "You promise I'm going home with you? I get to live with you?"

"I want you to," Leonard corrected. "I hope you do." Lisa pulled away to glare at him, and Leonard looked at her with something akin to wonder, cupping her face in his hands and wiping her wet cheeks. "I've got everything ready for you.Your own room—is yellow still your favorite color?" At Leonard's pause, Lisa nodded, looking up at him with luminous eyes, as if she were hanging on every word. "We'll paint your room any shade you want." Leonard swallowed past the lump in his throat and hugged Lisa again. "If you end up with another foster parent, I'll make sure you get everything I got for you, okay?"

Lisa hiccuped, fresh tears dripping down her cheeks. "I don't want a foster parent. I want to go home with you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to keep you safe," Leonard said, sweeping her bangs off to the side. "But now, you and me, we have each other's backs again." Lisa swallowed hard, and Leonard twisted toward the side table next to his chair, pulling a couple of tissues clear of the box and offering them to Lisa. He ruffled her hair as she rubbed her face dry, getting a baleful look in return. "I love you, kid. You and me, we'll be okay."

Their caseworker, who had been sitting in the corner supervising their visit, discreetly wiped her eyes with a handkerchief and cleared her throat. "Lisa, dear, you'll stay one more night with your current family, but after that I don't see any reason why you can't go home with your brother tomorrow."

Leonard exhaled a shaky breath, the weight of his fear and anxiety rolling off his shoulders with those words. Lisa was going to come home, and that was the only thing that mattered.

~*~

Leonard had very little time to figure out the logistics of Lisa's needs when she wasn't with him. He could provide her a stable life at home, as much of one as he could, at any rate, but when she was out of his sight, she was out of his protection. He knew that fostering Lisa at his apartment would take her from her school, and it was his responsibility to make sure she was safe in her new one.

Lisa was in the first quarter of her fourth grade year, and Leonard had done his research. There was only one public school close by, so he made an appointment with the principal, to get a feel for the school, see if maybe he could swing a tour.

He hated schools. He hadn't been inside one since he was sixteen. He felt itchy, out of place, but he reined it in when he saw Principal Anderson, who stood and offered his hand for a shake. 

"Thank you for taking the time to meet me," Leonard said. He shook Anderson's hand, quick and perfunctory.

"My pleasure, Mr. Snart." Anderson nodded and guided Leonard to the office. Once they sat, he continued, "How can I help you?"

"I've recently become the guardian of my little sister," Leonard said, slow and measured, choosing each word as carefully as possible. "She's nine. Gateway is the only public school in our vicinity, so the DHS suggested I submit her paperwork for transfer." Anderson opened his mouth, but Leonard raised a hand to stall him. "I've already done that. What I wanted to talk about are my sister's circumstances."

"Of course," Anderson agreed. "Please, continue."

The next part was always more difficult to say, but he was tough. He survived it. And so would Lisa. "Our father was abusive. It's been two weeks since she was removed from his house, so I need to know certain precautions are going to be made for her if she's going to this school."

"Such as?" 

"A patient homeroom teacher who can handle any anger issues she might have, for one. She's not violent without cause, but she melts down pretty easily when she's frustrated or angry. I know that there are a lot of kids who need help, but she doesn't need a babysitter. Just some understanding."

"I'll see what I can do," Anderson said.

"There's one more thing." Leonard leaned closer. This was important. "I don't want Lisa to be cornered. If you can let the teachers know, just to... Just to keep an eye on her when they see her? She was bullied a little at her last school, and I want to stop that kind of stuff before it starts here."

"We take a strict stance on bullying." Anderson interlaced his fingers and rested his hands on his desk. "Every one of us makes an effort to maintain a school atmosphere that discourages that sort of behavior."

Leonard didn't entirely trust Principal Anderson, but he weighed his options, not sure if he didn't trust Anderson because he was sketchy or if it was simply because Leonard had difficulty trusting anyone. "Good. She's a good girl—she just needs somewhere she can feel safe."

"I understand." Anderson nodded. "I'm a father myself. We all look for ways to keep our children safe."

Leonard swallowed, looking off to the side for a second before he met Anderson's eyes again. "I doubt I can get a tour while school's in session, but would it be possible to see more of the school when Lisa starts attending?"

"Of course." Anderson gave Leonard a slim, business-like smile, and then rose to his feet, extending his hand to shake. "Thank you for your time, Mr. Snart. I apologize for cutting our meeting short, but I do have other business to attend to."

"Right." Leonard shook Anderson's hand once and then dropped it. "Thank you for your time."

~*~

Mary called Leonard to the DHS one last time to pick up Lisa, and he quirked a smile at Lisa, which she returned. Lisa looked optimistic, but Leonard knew that was her game face, and he was eager to show her their new home. It wasn't a house with a yard and a white picket fence, but it was clean and quiet, and he had spent hours obsessing over every little detail of Lisa's new room.

"You remember Mick?" Leonard turned to look at her as he unlocked the door and caught her nod. "He doesn't live here, but we're still friends. He'll help me out and watch you sometimes if we need it."

Lisa's forehead wrinkled. "I don't need anyone to watch me. I'm a big girl."

Leonard smirked, watching her from the corner of his eye. "Mick needs eyes on him. He'd burn everything, given the chance." Lisa's eyes grew serious, and Leonard wondered if she remembered the way Mick was even a year or two ago. 

He let Lisa into the apartment and let her take her time to look around. The furniture was old, worn and scratched, but sturdy. 

"Lisa," Mick grunted his greeting and flicked his lighter on, staring at the flame.

"Mick." Lisa folded her arms over her chest. "You still have that ugly old lighter."

"No one's ever complained about it but you." Mick slowly flicked the cap down, quenching the small jet of flame, and smirked, reaching out to give Lisa a fist bump. "Missed you, kid."

"Missed you, too, Mick." Lisa grinned as she pressed her fist to Mick's, and Leonard found himself smiling, just a little.

"Take a look at your room." Leonard led the way. He wouldn't have said he was nervous, but there was a quivering in his stomach and he was on edge in the way he usually was right before a score. "I painted the walls, but if you don't like it, we can do something different."

Lisa nodded, very serious, and stepped into her room. She stood still, and Leonard watched her for a second as she looked around the room, looking at the bed, the dresser, the bookcase, the yellow walls, the ice skates that were hanging next to the window. Leonard interlaced his fingers and stood still, fighting the urge to shift from side to side as he waited for her response.

When Lisa finally turned toward him, her eyes were wet, and she ducked under his hands, curling her arms around his waist and squeezing tight. Leonard felt a little overwhelmed and hesitantly combed his fingers through her hair, pressing his hand against the wings of her shoulder blades. "Do you like it?" 

Lisa nodded and sniffled into Leonard's shirt. "I love it."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because they're going to take me away. I know it. Daddy'll do something or—or say something, and he'll—"

"Hey." Leonard took Lisa by the shoulders and knelt to look her in the face. "None of that, okay? No one's going to take you away from me."

"Promise?" Lisa ducked her head and rubbed her hand over her nose, sniffing again.

"Lisa." Leonard waited until Lisa looked up at him. "No one is going to take you away from me. Ever." Lisa's lower lip wobbled, but then she swallowed and squared her shoulders. "You and me, Lise. Got it?"

Lisa nodded. "Mick, too."

"Oh, yeah?" Leonard huffed a laugh. "Mick too, huh?"

"Well, someone's gotta look after him. He gets all dumb when he's by himself."

Leonard looked at Lisa for a long moment, loving her with all his heart. Lisa was a good kid. They'd get past this, just like they'd gotten past everything else. And maybe, one day, he'd be able to introduce her to Barry. He'd tell her about Barry when she was older. 

Leonard grinned and ruffled Lisa's hair. "Come on, kid. I'll make us some dinner." Lisa followed him out of her bedroom and then stared at Leonard while he got out some pans to start cooking. Leonard jerked his head and gestured at the apartment. "This is your home, Lise. Look around, find the bathroom, kick Mick in the keister if you need to."

"Don't," Mick warned, but he did scoot over so he wasn't taking the majority of the couch anymore.

Leonard listened as Lisa wandered the apartment, relaxing a little when the TV turned on and started droning some cartoon in the background. He made spaghetti, meatballs, and garlic bread and then turned to their little table. There wasn't really enough room for everything, so he took the garlic bread out of the oven and set it on the back burners of the stove. He set the table with some cheap placemats he'd gotten from Target and brought their plates to the table, loaded with food.

"Grub's up." Leonard got drinks—a beer for Mick and water for himself and Lisa— and when he came back, Mick and Lisa were at the table.

"Look who's all domestic," Mick teased, and Leonard shook his head, feeling his cheeks heat.

"Shut up." Leonard stabbed a meatball with his fork and shoved it into his mouth. They ate in silence for a few minutes before he lifted his head, looking over to Lisa. "I hate to do this, but—school. We're out of your old school district. I've had to enroll you in a new one."

"What?" Lisa's hand tightened on her fork, and she turned wide, unhappy eyes on Leonard. "That's not fair! All of my friends are—"

"I know." Leonard's mouth tightened as he watched Lisa slump in her chair, sulking as she wound spaghetti around her fork. "You'll be starting Monday, so at least you have a four day weekend?" Lisa's frown deepened, and Leonard shot a helpless look at Mick, who just shrugged and arched an eyebrow, the asshole. "And I wanted to know about your lessons, too—"

"Dad stopped letting me skate the night you left," Lisa retorted, and Leonard took a deep breath, held it. He wasn't going to get angry at Lisa for snapping at him. It was the least he deserved after leaving her behind, anyway. 

"In that case," Leonard said, "there's a rink about a mile away. You need to break in your skates, so we'll go there any afternoon you want to before I have to go to work. We could get you started on your lessons again."

Lisa nodded and picked at her meal, barely finishing half her plate before she excused herself from the table. Mick had seconds, and then took his plate to the sink. "I'm heading out," Mick said, giving Leonard a nod. He paused behind the couch and reached down to give Lisa a rough pet, ruffling her hair. "Don't be a pain in the ass."

Lisa scowled up at Mick. "You're the pain in the ass."

"Language," Leonard sighed, and glared both of them down until they shrugged in apology. Once Mick was gone, Leonard rose from his chair and packaged the leftovers in containers, stacking them in the fridge. He washed the dishes, dried them, and put them back in the cupboards before he went into the living room, sitting quietly next to Lisa. She snuggled up against his side, her upset about her new school pushed aside or forgotten, Leonard assumed, and he let her lean against him. "We'll go shopping for clothes tomorrow." Lisa nodded, and Leonard squeezed her shoulder. "And don't forget to brush your teeth before bed. Floss."

"I've got it," Lisa agreed.

"I got you some of that fluoride mouthwash, too."

Lisa giggled at that and poked Leonard's side. "You're such a nerd."

"Your teeth are important." Leonard poked Lisa back. "You've already lost three whole teeth since the last time I saw you."

Lisa turned her face to glare at Leonard defensively. "They fell _out_."

Leonard smirked. "You had a falling out with your teeth?"

"Oh my god," Lisa said, gaping at Leonard. "Why are you such a jerk?"

"Have to keep up with you somehow, don't I?" Leonard grinned, and Lisa smiled back.

That was a good start.

~*~


	3. Real Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard was trying to stay on the right side of the law for Lisa's sake, but Mick wasn't making it any easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to dungeonmarm and saekwha for the betas, as always.
> 
> Sorry for the long wait between chapters--I'm working on my coldflash fic for the summer exchange, so it's going to be a while before the next chapter comes out. I'm already breaking my rule of staying ahead of what I post. /o\
> 
> Also, this chapter is so freaking domestic, I don't even know what I'm doing.
> 
> There's some talk of bullying in this chapter, ineffective administration and revenge thrown in for good measure.

~*~

Leonard started a pattern through trial and error—he worked as a security guard during the overnight shift, got home just in time to see Lisa off to the bus, went to sleep, and woke up in time to pick her up from school. Then there was the ice rink for an hour before he helped Lisa with her homework. Afterward, he made sure she ate and brushed her teeth, and then he put her to bed. Sometimes Mick would be there to watch over her at night, and sometimes he wasn't, but Leonard didn't depend on him. Mick was, in a lot of ways, like a feral pet who came around for affection and food before he trotted back out into the world. He always had been a little bit of a stray.

"What's with that car, anyway?" Lisa asked one evening, tapping her pencil against the table as she looked up from her English textbook. 

Leonard looked up from the checkbook he was balancing to peer at her--procrastinating on her homework, as usual. He could see the swirly loops of her doodles in the margins of her notebook-- and then at the table, where he'd been idly rolling the little red Corvette back and forth against the wood as he concentrated. "It's just a gift." He stopped rolling it across the table and stuck it into his pocket, turning his eyes back to the checkbook.

Lisa arched an eyebrow, gesturing at him with the pencil before she circled another answer on her worksheet. "A gift from who? You don't have any friends I don't know."

Leonard thought of the little boy at the museum and wondered how Barry was, if his birthday had passed, if he thought about Leonard at all, the way he sometimes crossed Leonard's mind. "He was just a kid I met at a museum. Not anyone—" _Important_ , was the word that almost tripped off his tongue, but his heart clenched tight at the thought. "Not anyone you'd know."

Lisa looked skeptical, but she shrugged and closed her book. "You should just throw it away then," she answered. "You keep playing with it. Mick'd tell you it's a tell."

"I don't care what Mick would tell me," Leonard said, finally finishing with the checkbook and standing--it looked like they would have enough for groceries this week without breaking into his savings. He put the checkbook in his room, where he kept their other financial information secure, and then went back to Lisa. "It's almost time for me to go. Remember—"

"Homework, teeth brushing, pajamas," Lisa said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not a baby, Lenny. I know what to do." Leonard leaned down and squeezed her in a hug, blowing a raspberry against her cheek until she giggled and moved away.

"Hey." Leonard narrowed his eyes when he spotted a bruise on Lisa's upper arm. He tilted his head, carefully touching the skin around the purplish mark. "What happened here?"

Lisa shrugged, inching away and hiding the bruise with her hand. "It's nothing." She looked at the clock. "It's time for you to go to work."

Leonard frowned again, but she was right. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Don't forget to lock the door when I leave."

"I won't." Lisa scrambled off the couch to follow Leonard to the door, and after he closed it, he waited for the telltale sound of the lock being engaged before he left, taking his motorcycle.

There was something about Lisa's behavior that he hadn't liked, but he wasn't quite sure what it was. He thought about it over the course of the night, between watching the security cameras and doing his rounds, and he fished the red Corvette out of his pocket, rolling it back and forth in front of him on the desk. Maybe he should wake up early and go talk with her teachers, just to make sure everything was all right. He'd lose out on sleep, but Lisa was always going to be more important.

~*~

The shrill ring of the telephone woke Leonard, and he slid out of bed, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand as he went for the receiver. The clock said it was just a little past eleven AM.

"Hello?"

"Is this Mr. Leonard Snart?" The man on the other end had a crisp, professional voice, and although it was familiar, it automatically made Leonard tense and wary.

"This is he."

"This is Gary Anderson speaking. I'm the principal for Gateway Elementary?"

"Is my sister okay?" Leonard ran a hand over his head, his heart jumping into his throat.

"She's fine," Mr. Anderson said, "but I'm afraid I need you to come pick her up.There's been a situation."

"A situation?" Leonard paused at that, his mouth pulling into a frown. "What exactly do you mean, a situation?"

"I won't discuss it over the phone. Once you or an authorized agent are on school grounds, I'll go into more detail."

"Fine." Leonard rubbed at his temple, trying to fight off a headache. "I'll be there soon." 

He hung up the phone and headed out the door, choosing to drive the Corolla instead of his bike, for appearances if nothing else. The traffic that early wasn't a problem, and he was at the school in minutes. He fought down his anxiety, took a deep breath to steady himself, and then got out of the car, heading to the office building.

He signed in, showing the receptionist his ID to prove who he was, and then was guided down the hall to the principal's office. There were three little girls lined on one side of the hall, one girl with a bandage on her cheek. Against the other wall was Lisa. Leonard ignored everyone else and knelt in front of Lisa, taking in her wet, terrified eyes, her tangled hair. "I'm here," he murmured, soft and soothing. "It's going to be okay."

"Mr. Snart?" Leonard whipped his head up at the name, giving Mr. Anderson a narrow look. "If we could speak privately?"

Leonard's mouth tightened, but he squeezed Lisa's knee in reassurance before he rose back to his feet and entered the office. He cased the room in a motion that was still muscle memory, even if the action was becoming less familiar. There were three women, the mothers of the three other girls waiting outside, Leonard assumed, and he gave them a short nod of acknowledgement. He ignored the seat that Mr Anderson gestured to, turning enough to keep an eye on the window that pointed out to the hallway and the four girls.

"Thank you all for coming," Mr. Anderson said, taking a seat behind his desk. "Approximately an hour ago, these four girls had an… altercation."

"Altercation." Leonard arched his eyebrow and noted the annoyed, impatient looks the women gave him. He didn't give a damn. "What precisely does that mean?"

"There was a scuffle." Mr. Anderson folded his hands on the table. "Lisa struck out at one of the other girls with one of her skates, and it cut her. Mrs. Ostberg has graciously agreed that they won't press charges, but—"

"I'm sorry, press _charges _?" Leonard scowled. "I'm not even clear on exactly what happened."__

__"Your sister," the woman Leonard assumed was Mrs. Ostberg said with a sneer, looking up at Leonard like he was dirt on her shoe, "struck my daughter. She cut her cheek, and it's only by the grace of God that she doesn't need stitches!"_ _

__Leonard folded his arms over his chest. "Perhaps someone should start at the beginning?"_ _

__Anderson looked at the three women. "I don't want to say anything alarming—"_ _

__"They're women," Leonard said. "They'll get over it. Start from the beginning, because it sounds like you're saying my sister attacked another girl unprovoked."_ _

__"That's exactly what we're saying!" Ostberg rose from her seat, her face twisted in fury. "My daughter got hurt because of that little harridan—"_ _

__"Mrs. Ostberg!" Anderson snapped, and the woman startled. "She's a little girl, and she's still a student. Please don't talk about her that way."_ _

__"Lily said that the four of them were playing," one of the other mothers piped up. "Jennifer said something that Lisa didn't like, and they started fighting."_ _

__"Do we have any witnesses?" Leonard asked, and he gestured at the girls in the hall dismissively. "Besides the kids?" Anderson's jaw firmed, cheek twitching, and Leonard pinned him with a look as tension coiled in his shoulders._ _

__"No," Anderson finally admitted. "There weren't any other witnesses, and Lisa refuses to tell us what happened, so we're forced to assume that—"_ _

__"Assume." Leonard fought the urge to sneer. "Right. I told you when I transferred her that I wanted eyes on her at all times. You told me that wouldn't be a problem."_ _

__"They were found inside during recess," Anderson said. "It's restricted, and a teacher found them when Jennifer started screaming."_ _

__Leonard fought the urge to grit his teeth and opened the door, stepping out into the hallway and offering Lisa his hand. "Come inside for a minute, Lise."_ _

__Lisa eased out of her chair, taking Leonard's hand, and he watched the way Lisa moved, the way she kept an eye on the other girls in her peripheral vision until she passed them. Leonard glared at them for a second and followed Lisa back into the office. He had her sit in the empty chair that was meant for him, and knelt in front of her, taking her hand in his._ _

__"How're you holding up, kid?"_ _

__"Today really sucks," Lisa ducked her head, muttering the words toward the vicinity of her shoes._ _

__"Sure does." Leonard watched her, the way she wouldn't look at him, the way her shoulders drew up defensively, and squeezed her hand again. "So what happened?"_ _

__"We've already talked about this—" Ostberg complained, and Leonard glared at her until she shut up._ _

__He turned his attention back to Lisa. "Come on, kid. Here's your chance to clue me in. I'm on your side, remember?"_ _

__Lisa looked at him, unblinking, and then ducked her head. "Amber said they wanted to show me something in her sketchbook, but when we got inside—" Lisa took a shuddering breath and then closed her eyes. Her voice was softer but tired, a little mechanical as she spoke. "They shoved me. Pulled my hair. I was just trying to get away. I didn't know my skate cover had come off."_ _

__"If you're suggesting that Lily would have done _anything_ like this--" Lily's mother half-rose from her chair, and Leonard frowned at her._ _

__"I'm suggesting she's a scared little girl who didn't want to get in trouble with her mother." Leonard's voice was level when he spoke, and he gathered Lisa to him, glowering at Anderson, who at least had the sense to shift in his chair uncomfortably. He stared at the mothers of the girls who bullied his sister, sour with the depth of his contempt. Ostberg was the only one who didn't look away. He looked back at his sister and let her sit in the chair, cupping her cheeks in his hands and wiping her tears away._ _

__"Why didn't you tell anyone what happened?" Leonard asked, and Lisa darted a defensive look at the other adults. He took a breath and tapped her chin with his finger. "Hey, kiddo. Eyes up here. Tell me."_ _

__Lisa raised her eyes to Leonard's and relaxed a little once she wasn't looking at the other adults. "Mrs. Sims told me that fighting was bad. And Mick told me I shouldn't talk about a fight unless I'd finished it."_ _

__Leonard shook his head at that and ruffled Lisa's hair. "Do you like this school at all?"_ _

__Lisa thought about it for a couple of minutes and then gave a hesitant shake of her head._ _

__"Okay." Leonard stood, taking her hand and helping her out of the chair. "Go back into the hall. I'll take care of this." She gave him another worried look before she closed the door behind her, and Leonard exhaled._ _

__He looked around at the three women, circling around until he saw Anderson again. "All right. Consider this notice. I'm withdrawing Lisa from your school."_ _

__"Isn't that an over-reaction, Mr. Snart?" Anderson asked, and Leonard crossed his arms over his chest._ _

__"My sister just told me that she was being bullied. Considering that you promised me she would be safe, I think my decision is very rational. Press charges, I don't care. She's not spending another _second_ here. I'll turn her books in tomorrow." Leonard took a breath and opened the door holding out his hand for Lisa to take. He led her down the hall and out into the sunlight, and didn't bother looking back._ _

__~*~_ _

__"Lenny's the best!" Lisa told Mick at dinner that night._ _

__Mick smirked at Leonard, who just glowered. He was tired and worried about what the hell he was going to do for Lisa's schooling, and he didn't want to deal with Mick poking fun at him and his overprotective tendencies._ _

__"What did he do now?" Mick leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, still smirking._ _

__"He took me out of school!" Lisa's face was incandescent, and Leonard was never going to regret a decision that made Lisa look like that. "I was so scared that I was going to be kicked out because of stupid Amber, and then Lenny came in and he _believed_ me."_ _

__Mick frowned, and Leonard shook his head. "She was being bullied. I took care of it."_ _

__He scooted his chair back to take his empty plate to the kitchen and paused behind Lisa, hooking a finger into the collar of her shirt and tugging it a little so he could get a better look at her shoulders and the span of her back between her shoulder blades. There were little blue bruises, possibly the length of small fingers, and Leonard let Lisa's shirt settle back in place as he gritted his teeth. He hadn't nearly been angry enough._ _

__"I have to go to work," Leonard sighed, and he squeezed the bridge of his nose between his fingers to try and relieve the pressure headache he could feel brewing. "Mick, you gonna stick around tonight?" Mick nodded. "Okay. Lisa, you know the rules. I'll see you tomorrow morning."_ _

__"Night!" Lisa squeezed Leonard in a tight hug and scampered off to her room._ _

__"No flames bigger than your lighter," Leonard reminded Mick, who rewarded his concern with a shrug as he relocated from the dinner table to the couch, grabbing the comics from the newspaper Leonard had left there the previous day._ _

__Leonard took one more look around—he never forgot anything, but it was still comforting to check—and headed out. It was another boring evening at his job, quiet. It felt like a waste of time, and Len killed time by mapping out a heist. He knew where the most valuable things were kept in that warehouse, knew the blind spots of the cameras, and at least it helped to pass the time._ _

__By the time Leonard headed home, he was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to take a quick shower and feed Lisa breakfast before he got some sleep. He blinked as he pulled his motorcycle into his parking spot, light spilling out from the windows of their apartment, and he exhaled a deep, heartfelt sigh as he turned the engine off._ _

__Mick must have given Lisa candy. Hopefully the sugar rush was over and she was about to crash._ _

__Leonard opened the door to the apartment, and it was only the split second warning of, "Lenny! _Lenny_!" that gave him the opportunity to catch Lisa when she leapt from the arm of the couch._ _

__"Why the hell are you climbing the furniture?" Leonard snapped, but Lisa was too excited to take it personally, her eyes glittering, her cheeks flushed._ _

__"Mick and I burned _everything_!" Lisa beamed, and Leonard hefted her, supporting her with one arm under her thighs as he turned to close the front door behind him._ _

__"And by burning everything," Leonard said slowly, "are we talking about matches?"_ _

__"Cars!" Lisa's smile grew wider, and Leonard rolled his shoulders, feeling his tension release in a series of pops._ _

__He turned a glare on Mick, who was sitting at the kitchen table, papers spread out around him._ _

__Leonard set Lisa down, steering her to the bathroom. "Teeth and pajamas, rebel. I expect to see you sleeping in bed in fifteen minutes."_ _

__Lisa groaned in disappointment, but headed into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Once they were alone, Leonard faced Mick, crossing his arms over his chest._ _

__"Cars, Mick?"_ _

__Leonard's voice was low, almost a growl, but Mick just waved the entire situation away, gathering up the pages — for a job, Leonard could tell, and he resolutely kept his eyes on Mick instead of his score. "Her eyes were closed. She didn't see anything."_ _

__"How many?" Leonard asked._ _

__Mick shrugged. "Five or six."_ _

__Leonard's anger was so intense, so immediate, that he felt a little dizzy, and he turned away, taking one slow breath after another. "You can't take my sister on an arson spree and say she has plausible deniability."_ _

__"She didn't see anything." Mick jutted out his chin in that stubborn way that he had. "We didn't even use your shitty car. Don't get your panties in a twist."_ _

__Leonard raised a hand to forestall whatever Mick was going to say next, counting to ten before he could turn to face Mick again. "I thought you understood. You need to burn something, fine. Don't take Lisa. Don't _ever_ take Lisa."_ _

__Mick glared at Leonard, rising to his feet, and the air was immediately charged, the threat of violence crackling in the air. "You're skirting the line to walk on the side of the angels, Snart. You don't get to be my boss if you're trying to go straight."_ _

__Leonard took a step back, diffusing the tension, and he turned his back on Mick, lacing his fingers against the back of his neck as he struggled to remain calm. "Okay. Is there anything _I_ need to know?"_ _

__"It was just cars," Mick muttered behind him. "I didn't kill nobody."_ _

__Leonard closed his eyes. "You need to lay low for a while. Have you kept up any of the safe houses we shared?"_ _

__"Yeah."_ _

__"Then get out," Leonard said. "Don't come around for a couple days."_ _

__"Fine." Mick sounded gruff, like he didn't care, but Leonard knew better. "Kid needed revenge, Snart."_ _

__Leonard shook his head. "That's not your decision to make."_ _

__"If you didn't consult your little car all the time, maybe I wouldn't have had to make it."_ _

__Mick stomped out, shutting the door behind him, and Leonard rubbed a hand over his face. He took a deep breath and counted to ten before he turned around, heading toward Lisa's bedroom._ _

__"You better be in pajamas and ready for bed, train wreck."_ _

__Lisa was in bed, already asleep and drooling on her pillow. Seeing her softened Leonard's anger, as it always did, and he smoothed her hair away from her face, tucking her blankets more securely around her._ _

__They both needed sleep. He'd figure out what to do next when he woke up._ _

__~*~_ _

__Leonard kept an eye on the news. Mick and Lisa's arson was reported, but it seemed that Mick had at least been careful enough that the police didn't immediately come to Leonard's door. That was something to be appreciative of, at least. He'd spoken to Mary about the fight Lisa had gotten into at school, but by some twist of fate, Ostberg had chosen not to press charges after all. Perhaps pulling Lisa out of school had given her enough satisfaction. He made Lisa lunch and then took a look at his finances again, the money that he'd managed to save, how much was going out._ _

__Gateway had been the only public school close enough for Lisa, and there was no way he'd be able to home school her. That left private school, and Leonard had no idea how he was going to manage that._ _

__He started by setting an alarm on his watch, so that he wouldn't be caught off guard when it was time to go to work, and then took Lisa with him as he went to every private school close enough that it wouldn't be considered a boarding school and picked up pamphlets. A few of the schools he liked immediately when they visited the campus, and he took Lisa with him to talk to the administration, getting a feel for what each one was like._ _

__"I'm tired." Lisa pouted, and Leonard arched an eyebrow, staring pointedly at the seat belt. She huffed a loud, annoyed breath as she buckled herself in, and then crossed her arms over her chest for good measure._ _

__"Take a nap," Leonard wasn't entirely unsympathetic. It had been tough on her to move schools in the first place, and here she was doing it again only months later. "We need to get this done, Lise. I've got to have you back in school by Monday. State law."_ _

__"You didn't used to care so much about the law," Lisa grumbled._ _

__"That's before I was taking care of you, short stuff," Leonard reached over and tugged at the seat belt so that it wasn't pressing into Lisa's neck. "You're too important to risk losing because of a score." Lisa gave him a baleful look, as though she thought he was lying to her, and then turned her head to stare out the window. Leonard gave her five minutes to sulk. "We've already visited a couple of those schools. Did you like any of them?"_ _

__"None of them have ice rinks," Lisa sounded like a school that didn't have a rink shouldn't have been calling themselves a school at all._ _

__Leonard laughed at that. "Most don't. You're not losing your lessons, kid. We're just getting you a new school."_ _

__"School's boring." Lisa let her head fall back against the seat. "And it's stupid. You didn't go to school, I don't see why I have to."_ _

__Leonard frowned. "I went to school. Besides, you're better than me, so don't bother to use that argument." Lisa turned her face toward the window again and remained silent. "You've used your sulking quota for the day, kid."_ _

__"I'm not sulking." She didn't bother to look back at him either, but he decided going to fight over it._ _

__"Fine." He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel for a moment. "I liked Trinity. Still don't have an opinion?"_ _

__Lisa shrugged. "It was okay."_ _

__Leonard inhaled, counted to ten, and exhaled. "Did you like one of the others better?"_ _

__"Not really."_ _

__"Okay." Leonard changed their direction, heading toward the ice rink instead of home._ _

__Lisa frowned and cast a cautious look in Leonard's direction. "Where're we going?"_ _

__Leonard glanced back at Lisa and smirked. "You haven't skated in a day or two. We're gonna fix that."_ _

__Lisa's smile was worth all the frustration and worry, and he could see the way her tension sloughed off her the moment she was in her skates, walking carefully over to the small gate that would let her onto the ice. She looked back at Leonard for a moment, and he smiled. He nodded, a soft bob of his head, and then she was out, gliding smoothly over the surface of the rink. Leonard took a seat on one of the benches and watched her, how easily she moved over the ice, the height of her jumps, how graceful she was, like a swan on water._ _

__He couldn't lose her._ _

__While Lisa skated, Leonard reviewed the schools he was most interested in for Lisa's courses, how much it would be, if there were any spaces even available. Even with his savings, private school was too expensive with just his security job. He could look into getting some credit cards, maybe, bank off the fact that his motorcycle payments had always been on time until he'd paid off the loan. He'd pick up a newspaper when Lisa was done, try to see if he could find a second job with flexible hours. It would leave Lisa alone a lot more, but wasn't it up to him to make sure her needs were met?_ _

__Leonard's pager went off, and he looked at the number. It was Mick, and Leonard closed his eyes for a second. It hadn't really been long enough for them to resume contact, but there was always the possibility that Mick needed something, was in trouble. He waved to Lisa, and she skated over, giggling, her cheeks flushed pink with exertion._ _

__"I need to make a phone call," he said, and she nodded. He pointed over to what looked like a class forming, several children falling into a line in front of a woman, whose dark hair was pinned into a bun. "Stay in sight of that teacher, okay? I'll be five minutes."_ _

__"I'll be okay." Lisa's expression told Leonard that she very much didn't appreciate being treated like a child. "I'm almost ten, you know."_ _

__"Yeah, I know." Leonard tousled her hair and watched her skate toward the class, although she spun around and stuck her tongue out at him as she skated backwards, looping the class in lazy circles. Smart ass. Leonard turned away from the rink and stepped into the main foyer of the building, going to the payphone and slipping in a quarter before he dialed the number._ _

__It rang twice. "This better be Snart, or I'm hanging up."_ _

__"Mick," Leonard said, and he could hear Mick sigh. "What do you need?"_ _

__"Don't suppose you'd be willing to go on a trip for me." Mick's voice was resigned, as if he expected Leonard to think it was a waste of his time. He was probably right. "Need some bandages. Neosporin. The first aid kit is out."_ _

__"Why do you need bandages?" Leonard found himself asking, although he was sure he didn't want to know._ _

__"Gotta make money somehow, don't I?" Mick sounded defensive, angry, and Leonard took a deep breath, tapping his fingers against the side of the hard plastic alcove. "Not always careful. Getting better about that."_ _

__"Come back to the apartment, Mick." Leonard knew his voice was too soft, but he also knew that if he didn't step in, Mick was going to burn himself out. "I'll get you bandaged up."_ _

__"Thought you kicked me out."_ _

__"Yeah. You're not kicked out anymore. I never took your key, anyway."_ _

__There was a long moment of silence. "Yeah. Okay."_ _

__"We'll talk when Lisa and I get back. Let yourself in, get something to eat."_ _

__"Got it."_ _

__Leonard hung up and shoved his hands in his pockets, going back into the rink. Lisa was starting to wind down, and she skated over to him, sweaty and exhilarated, when he waved at her._ _

__"I can see you're feeling better." Leonard opened the little gate and offered her a hand as she stepped off the ice. Lisa nodded. "Come on, then. Let's get your shoes. Mick's waiting for us."_ _

__Lisa beamed, and she took Leonard's hand once she was ready to go. Leonard sighed. Like it or not, Mick was family. The three of them had to stick together.__

 _ _~*~__


	4. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard had a difficult choice to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thanks to saekhwa, as always, for the time she takes to beta all my stuff, and also for her patience when I'm constantly asking her about it. Many thanks to dungeonmarm as well, for reading my chapter in case I needed to fix fiddly details. /o\
> 
> Secondly, it's been a long time (I've allowed myself to get distracted by challenges, shame on me) but thank you to everyone still reading my silly soulmate fic. Have some more domestic!Len, 'kay? Okay. ♥

~*~

Leonard hated feeling out of place, and even though he was sitting in a room that looked like every other waiting room he'd been in, it was quiet, clean, and a bit more upscale than he was used to, with thick, plush carpet and comfortable chairs one could sink into. He flipped through one of the magazines on the table next to him, some sort of home decor thing, but set the magazine down when he heard footsteps, muffled by the thick carpet. Trinity's principal was punctual.

Leonard smiled, rising to his feet as he offered his hand, and she shook it, quick and perfunctory. He liked that. She also looked very put together, real diamonds glittering at her ears and her wrist. He could slide that bracelet off her wrist without her even realizing it, and his fingers itched with the urge to pull it off. He put his hands in his pockets instead.

"How are you doing, Mr. Snart? My name is Janet Walsh. Please, come in." Walsh's smile was pleasant, far more genuine than Anderson's, and Leonard liked that, too. "Would you like something to drink?"

Leonard shook his head. "No, thank you. And I'm doing fine."

Walsh nodded and interlaced her fingers on the desk. She didn't bother to get herself anything to drink either, her eyes steady and direct. "I'll get right to the point, Mr. Snart. We're pleased with your interest in our school. I did some research after your preliminary visit."

Leonard stilled, his mind racing through any number of things that she might have found—his childhood, the abuse he and Lisa experienced, the situation with Ostberg at Gateway. "And?"

"And your sister seems very bright." Walsh reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a pamphlet, sliding it over to Leonard. "I think she would do very well here, and you're very lucky. We only recently had a student transfer out, and we haven't filled that space yet."

Leonard nodded, paging through the pamphlet even though he'd looked at it several times at home. "Based on what I've seen, I do like your school." He raised his eyes to Walsh's and set the pamphlet back on her desk. "I appreciate your policy of zero tolerance for violence."

"I did speak with her previous principal," Walsh said, her mouth turning down. "You and your sister have been through a lot. You've been very thoughtful toward her."

Leonard stared at her, eyes narrow and intent. "I'm the only family she's got. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her."

"That's commendable," Walsh said. "There aren't many people in your circumstances who would choose to make the same sacrifice."

"I don't think of it as a sacrifice." That wasn't entirely truthful, but no one needed to know that. "I wasn't going to leave her with strangers."

Walsh folded her hands on her desk and looked at Leonard, calm and measuring. "I like you, Mr. Snart. I respect what you're trying to do for Lisa." She paused. "That being said—you are aware of the tuition for Trinity, aren't you? This isn't something we particularly like to talk about. Most of our parents think discussing money is gauche."

Leonard refused to admit that he didn't know what "gauche" meant. "I'm aware."

Walsh nodded. "Under normal circumstances, we would offer a scholarship to a family in your position, but we're already well into the semester, and our funds have been exhausted supporting other students. What we can offer you is a pro-rated tuition that would include only the time she was actively involved in our classes."

Leonard nodded and didn't flinch when Walsh presented him with a figure north of twenty-eight thousand dollars for the rest of the school year. His savings would only cover half of that at most. "I see."

"After the semester's over, we can revisit your situation and see if you and Lisa qualify for assistance." Walsh paused again and leaned closer. "Between us, I can't imagine that you wouldn't qualify."

Embarrassment heated the back of Leonard's neck, but he couldn't argue with Walsh's statement. "Be straight with me, Ms. Walsh. What else am I going to be required to cover until our case is re-evaluated?"

Walsh leaned back and opened the pamphlet, circling a paragraph. "That figure consists of tuition, lunches, and various field trips. It also covers afternoon activities that occur after class. You'll be required to supply Lisa's school uniform. Possibly some textbook fees, depending on Lisa's status. We would notify you before we required any sort of actionable payment."

"She already has ice skating lessons in the afternoon," Leonard said cautiously, pinning Walsh with a narrow look.

"I understand that," Walsh said, "but it would be good for you and Lisa to choose an additional extracurricular activity. Our options are chosen specifically for the qualities they imbue in our students, and they will help them in their lives beyond the classroom. We offer dance, various languages, even private musical tutoring."

"Right." Leonard leaned back in his chair. He would have to talk to Lisa, then. See what else she'd be interested in. With her new school schedule, he wouldn't be able to take her to the skating rink in the morning. Perhaps there would be time in the afternoon, after her extracurricular course. Before dinner. "When do you need a decision?"

"I can give you a day to decide if our school is a good fit for Lisa," Walsh said, and there was a touch of regret in her voice. "I wish I could offer you more time, but our open spots are highly sought after. Once she starts attending classes—assuming you agree that Trinity is the right place for her— you'll have a week to get her uniforms and make a decision on her extracurricular. We do offer a monthly payment plan for the tuition if that's something you'd like to discuss further. Is this acceptable?"

"Yes. Thank you." Leonard stood when Walsh pushed away from her desk and extended her hand. "Thank you again for seeing me."

"It was my pleasure," Walsh said as she led Leonard to the door of her office. "I look forward to hearing from you."

Leonard nodded and left the office, dipping his head again in acknowledgement as he passed the secretary. Hopefully, he'd done a good job pretending that he was weighing his options, like he had five other schools to choose from. It was something he'd learned from watching his father, in the long run—play your cards close to your chest and never let anyone know how desperate your situation really is.

And he was desperate.

He had two days to get Lisa back into school or social services would reconsider his case, and none of the other potential schools he showed interest in had any spots available.

Once Leonard was safely out of the building, he sighed, long and heartfelt, and then he ran his hand over his head. There wasn't a choice. His savings had been hard earned, but it was meant for exactly this kind of situation. He'd pay as much as he could upfront, set up a monthly payment plan for the rest, and get Lisa her uniform. He hoped she wouldn't need to purchase new textbooks. And god help him if her extracurricular turned out to need more than what they had. The responsibilities never seemed to end.

Leonard's fingers itched, and he slid his hand into his jacket pocket, rubbing his thumb over the shape of Barry's toy car. He knew from the beginning that raising Lisa would be difficult. He wasn't going to back away from the challenge just because he was scared. What kind of role model would he be if he ran away just because things got tough?

Leonard closed his eyes and breathed, running his thumb in meditative circles over the hood of the small red car. When he felt centered again, he unlocked his helmet from his bike, fastened the strap beneath his chin, and headed back home.

Mick and Lisa were sitting on the couch and watching TV when Leonard came through the door. He nodded at Mick, pausing to drop a kiss to the top of Lisa's head on his way to the kitchen. Mick shoved Lisa affectionately to the side and stood, following Leonard into the kitchen. He grabbed one of the dining chairs, swinging it around and straddling it backward. "What's up?"

Leonard hung his helmet on the side of his chair and rubbed his hand over his nape. "Spoke to the principal. There's a spot for Lisa, if I can afford it."

Mick stared up at Leonard, and Leonard turned his back to Mick, refusing to make eye contact, choosing to look at the wall instead as he created a list of things in his mind that he needed to do before Lisa went back to school. 

"How much?" Mick asked.

"Nothing you need to worry about," Leonard said as he sank heavily into one of the chairs at the table. "I'll figure something out. I always do."

Mick hesitated for a second, awkwardly shifting his large body in the chair. It was so rare for Mick to consider what he was going to say that Leonard paused to look at Mick, as if he would be able to divine what Mick was thinking. Then Mick's jaw went taut, and he stood, fishing a white envelope out of his inner jacket pocket. He closed the space between them in two large steps and shoved the envelope against Leonard's chest. Leonard didn't take the shove personally—even now, Mick sometimes didn't realize when he was being rough. 

"Just take it," Mick said gruffly. "Don't ask questions and take it."

Leonard frowned but accepted the envelope only because it looked like Mick was about to drop it. The thickness of the contents in the envelope were a familiar weight, and Leonard shot Mick a wary look before he opened the envelope and looked inside. Money. Of course it was money. One, maybe two grand. 

"Mick, I can't take this."

"I told you to shut up," Mick growled, already turning away. 

Leonard rubbed a hand over his face. "Mick."

"Tell me how much you need for Lisa, and I'll make it work."

Leonard stared at Mick's back, a knotted coil of emotions twisted in his gut. Misery swelled his throat like sickness, and for a second, he was a fourteen-year-old punk, Mick stepping in and saving him all over again. "I can't ask you—"

"You ain't asking, are ya?" Mick turned around and leaned against the sink, his fingers tightening around the counter edge. "Don't think about it. Keep your hands clean. You've got Lisa to worry about. That's what you've been saying." Leonard dropped his hand to his pocket, and Mick tracked the movement, shaking his head. "That kid ain't old enough to give a shit about what you do to survive, you know that, right?"

"Leave Red out of it." Leonard dropped his gaze to the floor. "Please."

Mick sucked in a breath and pushed away from the sink, moving back into his chair. "I'm just saying, Lenny," he continued in a harsh whisper. "With your brain, we could pull off a stunt that would pay Lisa's way through school and give her the pretty things she deserves. Instead, you're working yourself to the bone, and for what? To be a role model to a kid you haven't seen in months?"

"You don't understand," Leonard bit out, but it wasn't Mick's fault. How could Mick understand when Leonard couldn't even get it all straight in his head? How could he put that desperate urge, that drive to be _worth_ something into words? "I need to do it. I need to be better."

"Lemme ask you something." Mick settled his forearms along the back of his chair. "Are you gonna see him again?"

Leonard's automatic response died on his tongue. Of _course_ he would see Barry again. Somehow. He knew Barry's last name. He knew Nora's name. But he had no telephone number and no address. He didn't even know what school Barry went to. Did he even live in Central, or had Barry and Nora just been passing through?

Leonard cut a look over at Mick, who wore his frustration and anger on his sleeve, as easy to read as ever. "Why do you have to make me think about that?"

"You know why," Mick said simply, his voice a soft rumble. "You wanna chase after a ghost? Fine. But think about the people you're letting down in the meantime."

There was movement at the entrance of the kitchen, and Leonard slid the envelope of money into his jacket as Lisa turned the corner. He smiled. "Hey, kid. You get bored?"

Lisa looked between Leonard and Mick. "You ain't fighting, are you?"

Leonard stared at her, his eyebrows climbing in surprise. "Who said you could use 'ain't'? A couple of days without school, and you're already talking like a criminal."

Lisa frowned at Leonard. "You talk like that."

"Yeah, and I'm a criminal, so I know what I'm talking about." Leonard pulled her into a headlock, ruffling her hair. 

"Stooooop!" she wailed, and Leonard laughed, releasing her and getting another nasty look in return.

"We weren't fighting," Leonard reiterated as Lisa smoothed down her hair. "We were just talking about getting you ready for school again."

She wrinkled her nose. "You're really going to make me go to school again?"

"This one'll be better," Leonard promised. "The classes are harder. You'll have something fun to learn in the afternoon, and you can still skate. Trinity has some neat field trips, too. You said that when we looked at the pamphlet."

Lisa pouted. "I don't want to go."

"Just wait." Leonard reached out and curled a lock of her hair around his finger, his heart swelling with affection. "Give it a chance. Tomorrow we'll get your uniform, and on Monday I'll do your hair up all pretty. They're gonna love you."

Lisa looked unconvinced, and Mick shook his head, rising from his seat. "I'm not seeing a smile, small fry. You know what that means." He grabbed Lisa around the waist and tossed her into the air. He caught her at the last moment and swung her over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes, tickling her until she laughed breathlessly. "That's what I like to hear." Mick caught Leonard's eyes with a final glance and then turned away, marching Lisa back into the front room.

Leonard slumped, resting his elbows on the table. He reached into his pocket for the red car and pushed it across the table with a little more force than he meant to. It rolled to the edge, slowing to a stop just before it tumbled to the floor. He closed his eyes and jammed the heels of his palms against his face, struggling to draw in each ragged breath.

He was stuck. Maybe Mick was right. Maybe he couldn't get what Lisa needed by doing things the right way. He just wasn't lucky enough.

~*~

Leonard took Lisa with him when he returned to Trinity to pay the down payment on her tuition, and by some act of providence, the kids were being let out for recess when Walsh was ready to see them.

"You can go play with them, if you'd like," she said kindly, and Leonard's estimation of her rose. 

Lisa shot a look in Leonard's direction, and he nodded, rewarded with her smile before she darted out the door to go play. 

"She really is a very sweet little girl."

"She's the best," Leonard said, and then he took a breath as he pulled out the cashier's check he'd had the bank make for the deposit. Eight thousand dollars. Gone in a blink. "You mentioned that we could do a monthly payment plan for the rest of her tuition?"

Walsh nodded, making out a receipt for Leonard's benefit, which he appreciated. He'd been burned once by misplaced trust and that had been one time too many. "Of course," she said. "With this, we'd be looking at monthly payments in the amount of five thousand a month."

Leonard didn't flinch, but it was a close thing. "I'll make arrangements with my bank."

They stood, and Walsh shook his hand. "It's going to be a pleasure to have Lisa here with us. We'll get her settled in on Monday."

"Thank you." 

Leonard stepped out of the office and squinted against the sunlight. He shaded his eyes so he could get a better look at the kids. The uniforms were blue and gold, and he could already see varying quality in some of the students' clothes. He made a mental note to himself to ensure Lisa got the best. He wasn't going to tolerate another incident like what had happened at her other school, and the best way to do that was to start her off with as many advantages as he could.

Lisa was playing tether ball with another little girl, and he patiently waited off to the side for either the game to end or the students to be called in. Recess, it turned out, ended before their game, and Lisa looked around for Leonard before she beamed, running to his side. 

"What's this?" Leonard poked her cheek, and she ducked her head, hiding her smile against his side. "You look like you enjoyed yourself."

"Did not," she protested, her voice muffled by Leonard's jacket.

He squeezed her shoulder and walked her over to the car. "Thought I taught you how to be a better liar than that?" He opened the passenger side door, and she bounced into her seat. "Seat belt." 

He closed the door and then circled around to the driver's side, fastening his own seat belt when he was ready to go. The money Mick had given him sat heavily in the inner pocket of his jacket. He should've given it back, but beggars couldn't be choosers. It would pay for Lisa's ice skating lessons, good quality uniforms, and new textbooks. He just needed to focus on one thing at a time.

Leonard drove Lisa to the ice rink and paid for the time he'd reserved for her before heading into the rink. The instructor was there, and relief swept through Leonard. The cost of the lesson was worth seeing Lisa's eyes light up with joy. 

"Is that a teacher?" she whispered, clutching Leonard's hand. "For real? I'm not just free skating today?"

"You got it, train wreck." He patted her back. "Go get your skates on. You've got a workout ahead of you."

She beamed up at him again and then hurried to the bench to trade her shoes for her ice skates. Leonard nodded at her instructor and shook her hand. "Thank you for taking the time to help my sister, Ms. Nicks. I appreciate it."

"My pleasure." She smiled, her cheeks already a little pink from the chill of the rink. "You've spoken highly of Lisa, so I'm excited to see what she can do."

"I'll let you get to it." Leonard stepped away and took a seat on the bench, watching Lisa take to the ice.

He'd reserved the rink for half an hour, so he watched Lisa warm up and then went to the concession stand to get himself something to drink. He spotted a payphone off to his left and kept looking at it from the corner of his eye. Mick's words rang in his head—how much did he really know about Barry Allen? He took his drink and wandered over to the payphone, still keeping one eye on the ice. There were two spellings of the name—Alan and Allen, and Leonard unobtrusively looked around before he ripped the pages free of the phone book and folded them up, sliding them into his pocket.

With that impulse satisfied, he sat back on the bench, folding his arms on the fence that surrounded the rink and resting his chin on his hands. The light glinting off the ice made his head ache, so he closed his eyes, listening to the sound Lisa's skates made and the voice of her instructor calling out praise. He didn't sleep, but it was nice to rest his eyes.

The lesson was over too soon, and Leonard raised his head when he heard Lisa calling his name. Her braid was messy, her cheeks rosy from exertion, and he extended his hand, helping her over the step from the rink to the benches. 

"Have fun?"

"It was the best!" Lisa exclaimed in delight, and Leonard turned gratefully toward her instructor.

"Thank you very much."

Ms. Nicks nodded and watched Lisa for a moment longer as Lisa unlaced her skates and carefully pulled them off. "She's very good, Mr. Snart."

"Thank you." Leonard appreciated Lisa receiving compliments, but insistence always pinged him, made him uncomfortable and over protective.

Ms. Nicks hesitated for a second and then looked straight at Leonard, her eyes firm. "If Lisa's interested, I'd like to see her more often."

Leonard cocked his head. "How often is more often?"

"At least three times a week," Ms. Nicks said immediately. "Preferably for two hours, maybe three."

Leonard folded his arms over his chest. "That's a very long time."

Ms. Nicks lowered her voice. "Your sister has an incredible natural talent. She could go far in competitions, maybe even compete nationally. _If_ she has the discipline and the training."

"I'll talk to her about it," Leonard said. "Thank you again." He turned to look at Lisa, something inside him softening at Lisa's smile. "You ready, kid?" Lisa bounced to her feet and took his hand, already talking a mile a minute about what it was like to have private time on the ice and how much fun it was. She didn't even wait for Leonard to tell her to put her seat belt on when they got back to the car.

"So," Leonard began once Lisa had wound down. "Ms. Nicks said you did really well today. Did you like her?"

Lisa nodded vigorously. "I loved her. She was so much fun. And she wasn't mean about my mistakes."

Leonard stared straight ahead at the road, already resigning himself to adding this to his budget. "Would you like to keep getting lessons? Ms. Nicks said you might be able to compete, if you wanted."

"Compete?" Lisa was frozen in her seat, and she turned to look at Leonard with wide eyes. "You mean, I could go up against other skaters?"

"If you wanted," Leonard said. "But you know competing at any level is really hard. You'll have to put in a lot of work. And keep your grades up. And do your extracurricular for Trinity."

Lisa bit her bottom lip, nodding again. "I could take dance. That was one of the things they mentioned. Can I, Lenny? Please? _Pretty_ please?"

Leonard glanced at Lisa from the corner of his eye. "Okay. But you gotta stick with it, you hear me?" He did the math in his head, holding back a sigh. Four hundred and eighty dollars a week for lessons, then. He wondered, briefly, if he could sweet talk his way into more hours at work. He'd have to reduce the amount he put in the savings account, and with Lisa getting breakfast and lunch at school again, he could cut down on groceries and only worry about snacks and dinner. He knew Mick would be willing to help, but without knowing where Mick's money came from, Leonard didn't want to rely too heavily on his friend.

Once they got home, Leonard locked the door and went to the kitchen to make Lisa a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "I'm going to take a nap before work," he said as he set the plate down on the table. "Don't answer the door for anyone—"

"I know." Lisa rolled her eyes. "It's the same thing you tell me every day."

"I'm worrying too much, aren't I?" Leonard shrugged and headed to his room.

"Good night!" Lisa carolled, turning on the television. She kept it low enough that it faded in and out, a kind of white noise, and it helped to relax Leonard enough to lull him to sleep.

~*~

The Sunday before Lisa started school again, Leonard pulled out the telephone pages he'd stolen from the phone book at the ice rink. He didn't have work, and Mick had taken Lisa to the movies, a treat for her good behavior over the past couple of days.

He looked through each page slowly, repeating Nora's name in his mind as he scanned the long list of names. She wasn't listed, which could have been caused by one of four things—her number was unlisted, which meant he was shit out of luck; she introduced herself by her middle name, which would make things difficult, but not impossible; she was married, and the telephone number was under her husband's name; or worst of all, they weren't in Central City at all. Leonard clenched his hand into a fist and exhaled before he dragged his phone over to the coffee table.

He dialed each number with the careful diligence of someone on a mission. Sometimes the phone rang, but no one picked up. Sometimes the line connected, but there wasn't anyone named Nora there. Leonard preferred those moments of contact, liked being able to cross out names and telephone numbers and see something concrete for his efforts.

After approximately twenty-five minutes, he had a list of ten numbers that he hadn't been able to verify. Without thinking too hard about what he was doing, he took his list and headed out, driving to the first address on the list. There was nothing there, no sense of familiarity, but there wasn't a car in the driveway and Leonard wasn't going to break in on the off chance he would see some family photos. He doodled a question mark next to the first name and continued driving, turning on the radio in an attempt to fill the silence.

The second address had an old blue VW Beetle pulling into the driveway as Leonard passed, and he braked for a red light, keeping the Beetle in sight with his rearview mirror. An old man wearing suspenders climbed out of the car, and Leonard sighed, dutifully putting another question mark next to the address. He was being ridiculous. There was absolutely no reason for him to drive through neighborhoods on the other side of the city in the hopes he'd see a six-year-old kid.

Even knowing that, Leonard couldn't bring himself to stop.

He continued driving to the next address on his list, and he frowned as he looked out at the clean clapboard houses, the freshly cut grass. His head swam with a strange sense of déjà vu so he pulled over at his first opportunity, closing his eyes and trying to chase away the strange sort of familiarity.

Leonard took a breath and held it until his lungs burned. When he felt centered again, he opened his eyes and pulled away from the curb, driving slowly forward in case he needed to stop again.

His caution was unnecessary, because he found what he was looking for at the next house.

Somehow, blindly, Leonard pulled himself into park again, his eyes glued to the family out in the front yard. Nora, her red hair shaded by a straw sunhat. Barry, shrieking at the top of his lungs as he leapt in the grass until his father swung him up and tossed him into the air, only to catch him on his way down.

The pen slipped numbly from Leonard's fingers, landing somewhere on the floor of the car. His skin prickled with pins and needles all over, as though he'd been asleep and hadn't known it until just that moment. He hadn't even realized how much he'd missed Barry until the kid was right in front of him. All he had to do was cross the street, and they'd be together again.

What the hell was wrong with him?

He tore his gaze away, clenching his hands into fists so hard that his nails cut into the flesh of his palms. He was a stranger. One moment of connection didn't make him any more than that, didn't make him any less of a creep who had stalked a little boy home.

Barry had a good home. If what Leonard was seeing right now was anything close to normal, then his parents loved him deeply. There were flowerbeds along the brick foundation of the house. He could see Nora being the type of woman who liked to garden. And Barry's dad. He was the type of dad that mowed the lawn every Sunday, whose face creased in laugh lines when he looked at his family. Leonard looked down absently at the page that he still held. Henry. Barry's dad was named Henry.

Leonard didn't belong here.

Mick was right.

Barry was okay, was going to be more than okay, and Lisa deserved more than he could give her, more than he could provide trying to go straight. Leonard would be discreet, wouldn't do anything that would embarrass Barry or make his life more difficult, but that's all he'd be able to promise. Leonard needed to make sure Lisa's future was secure before he considered his own.

Afterward… Leonard took the red Corvette out of his pocket and rolled it across his dashboard, slowly, back and forth. Afterward. Maybe. If it was worth it.

He could hear Barry's laughter from across the street, and he smiled despite himself. "Sorry, kid. Lisa needs me more. I can't let her down." 

He watched Henry pick Barry up and head inside. Leonard swallowed, his throat aching, and he didn't know if it was loneliness or the bond or his own painful disappointment welling up in his chest. For several long minutes, he couldn't bring himself to move. Then he took himself out of park and started down the street again. 

"Wish me luck, Barry. I'm gonna need it."

~*~


	5. Bad Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mick Rory, ladies and gentlemen: king of terrible ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG this chapter has been a long time coming. Thanks to everyone who's stuck out the wait! I actually didn't intend to have this as a chapter, but nothing ever works out the way I expect it to.
> 
> Thanks go, as always, to saekhwa, who fixes all my mistakes and makes it pretty.

~*~

Mick set the platter of charred chicken in the center of the table, and Lisa stared at it, her lip curling with blatant disgust. “ _Miiiick_. This is gross.” She crossed her arms over her chest and pushed her chair back from the table.

“I screwed up,” Mick said flatly, and didn’t offer any further explanation. 

Leonard waved away the smoke still lingering in the air and then closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and counting to ten. He was tired, his mind a little slower than he liked, than he was used to, and he scrubbed a hand over his face as he thought of what they still had in the apartment. The mashed potatoes and the green beans were fine, and as for the chicken—

Leonard scowled and pointed a finger at Mick. “Sit down.” 

Mick sat in his chair without another word, and Leonard took the chicken off the table, setting it on the counter next to the sink. 

Lisa kicked her feet against the leg of the table. "Can we get cheeseburgers?"

"No, Lise." They still had some bread. He could tear the chicken apart and find out how much was still edible, make a sandwich or two for Lisa. With all of her activities, she needed the protein. 

Lisa groaned and let her head roll back, kicking the table harder.

Mick grabbed her calf and shook it for a second before letting go. "You break it, you buy it, small fry." 

Leonard shook his head at them as he washed his hands, taking a fork and one of their mismatched steak knives from the silverware drawer. He silently and methodically carved away everything that looked completely inedible.

He was able to salvage about two thirds of the bird and felt a surge of triumph and relief at that small success. He washed his hands a second time and then carried the platter and the bread over to the table again. “Sandwiches. Problem solved.” 

Mick averted his eyes for a second, the small motion the closest Leonard would get to an apology, and Lisa sighed loudly, reaching over the platter to stab a piece of chicken with her fork.

“You’re lucky I’m so hungry I’d eat practically anything,” she grumbled, and Leonard smirked, smoothing her hair back and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Already, the timer in his head was ticking away, counting down the seconds he had to be at work, so he stepped away to change into his uniform.

“I wish he didn’t have to go,” he heard Lisa say as he came out of his room, and he frowned, his mouth pinching tight at the corner.

“He’s doin’ it because he loves you,” Mick rumbled, and they both looked up when Leonard came back into the kitchen.

“Go to bed at a reasonable hour, train wreck. You’re hell to wake up in the morning when you stay up too late.” Lisa nodded, and Leonard squeezed her shoulder gently. “I’ll be home to take you to school.” She nodded again and stared down at her plate, poking at her sandwich.

“There’s two bites there,” Mick said, cutting a stern look at Lisa. “You don’t eat it, I will.”

She stuck out her tongue and curled her arm around her plate, shoving the sandwich into her mouth and chewing noisily as she glared back at Mick.

“It’s your fault if she goes feral.” Leonard slipped his wallet and keys into his pocket and steeled himself to walk out the front door to another brain-numbingly boring night at his job. It was for Lisa, he reminded himself, and he waved a half-hearted goodbye as he stepped out and closed the door behind him.

~*~

Leonard took out the little red car, the paint wearing away at the edges because he worried with it so much, and slid the small vehicle back and forth in front of him, a reminder of why he shouldn’t go through with the plan he’d just formulated to rob the place. The sun was starting to peek over the horizon, bathing the building in soft orange, and he stifled a yawn. He'd stared at the grainy black-and-white security feed for so long over the course of the night that his eyes were blurry. Not even the elaborate heists he'd created in his head were keeping him sharp.

It was only a few minutes later when the next shift of security guards came into the building, and Leonard gratefully turned everything over to them. The sunrise meant another day had passed, that his silent promise to Barry hadn’t been broken.

Lisa was dressed in her new school uniform when Leonard came home, and he dug out the disposable camera he’d bought just for that occasion—they had all of five pictures of Lisa from when she was a baby and none of Leonard’s. He didn’t particularly care about the loss of his own history but damned if he wasn’t going to document every milestone of Lisa’s life, just to show her how proud and grateful he was that she was here and that they were together.

Lisa laughed but indulged him, posing until he’d used a quarter of the roll and it was time for her to go to school. The drive was nice, Lisa singing along to the radio while they waited in traffic, and she gave him one of her genuine smiles as she unbuckled her seatbelt and left the car, scampering away to her classroom. That smile was still too rare for Leonard's liking, but it was something.

Mick was gone when Leonard came home, and Leonard rolled his shoulders, going to his room to grab the checkbook from his nightstand drawer so he could tally up the numbers before he went to sleep. He had enough to write the first check to cover the monthly tuition, but it was clear that he'd be struggling after that. Disappointment soured in his stomach when he thought of Lisa's skating lessons, and he was, quite frankly, at a loss. He tapped his pen along the edge of the checkbook as he considered his options. A second job, maybe. He thought of the money that Mick had given him, stashed safely away in a lockbox at the top of his closet. There was enough there to cover Lisa's skating lessons for six weeks but…

Well.

Wherever Mick had gotten the money, it was Leonard's now. And he had to use every advantage he had. He could make a small deposit, see if it raised any red flags. If they were in the clear, he'd be safe to deposit the rest of it. He stared down at the table until it blurred in his vision. The decision was made in an instant, and he went back into his bedroom to count out a safe amount of money to take to the bank, keeping the rest safely stashed away. That particular bill wasn't due for another week, and Leonard wasn't going to jump the gun.

Two errands, then.

He sat there at the kitchen table and closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling one long, slow breath in an attempt to center himself. His shoulders ached, but he ignored it and pushed away from the table, grabbing his checkbook and the money he was going to deposit. It was still pretty early in the morning, so the drive to the bank didn't take very long; there was only one other car waiting in the line for the drive-through teller, so he used the time to fill out a deposit slip, reaching over to get one of the deposit envelopes from his glove compartment. The entirety of the transaction took a little less than five minutes, and then he was out on the road again, searching for one of the flea markets that he normally passed.

After all, Mick couldn't cook worth a damn, and Leonard wasn't much better, if he was honest. He would be doing all of them a favor by biting the bullet and finding himself an old cookbook to learn from before Lisa put her foot down and refused to eat at home anymore.

And so, an hour after he'd taken Lisa to school, Leonard finally, finally got a chance to sleep.

~*~

"Lenny!"

Leonard jerked at the sound of Lisa's voice carrying across the apartment.

"Mick scared one of my teachers!" 

Leonard rolled his eyes and focused his attention on the casserole dish in his hands, carefully sliding it into the oven. He closed the oven door and wiped his hands on his jeans. "What's she talking about, Mick?" He heard the thump of Mick's footsteps, heard the couch creak when Mick sat down. 

"Nothing. Smiled at her. I was tryin' to be friendly."

"She double-checked to see if he was allowed to come pick me up." Lisa sounded a little too gleeful at the prospect, and Leonard closed his eyes. It was his own damn fault, he told himself. He knew the price for Mick's help.

Leonard turned to the sink and washed his hands before he looked back at Lisa. "Wash your hands," he said, ignoring the expectant look on her face. "Dinner's ready in half an hour."

"You're not being any fun." Lisa pouted and flounced her way out of the kitchen, pushing Mick out of the entrance.

"It's not my job to be fun." Leonard sighed and folded his arms over his chest, leaning against the counter as he watched Mick swing a chair out from the table and straddle it.

"She only checked once," Mick said idly. "Nothing to worry about."

"I'm not worried." Leonard narrowed his eyes at Mick. "But we're going to talk if she starts setting things on fire."

Mick smirked and shook his head. "Learned my lesson."

"Good." Leonard rolled his shoulders, trying to dislodge the painful knot of tension that had taken residence between his shoulder blades. "I'm so tired."

"Too much trouble asking for a night off, huh?" Mick stared, unblinking, up at Leonard. "Seems like a crappy deal to me."

Leonard snorted. "Because you're an expert at holding down a job."

Mick looked down at that, staring at the tips of his shoes. "Not everyone can do what you're doing, asshole."

"What? You want me to get mushy on you?" Leonard let the corner of his mouth tilt up in a smile. "Couldn't do this without you."

"Shut up," Mick muttered.

Leonard laughed, a small, utterly exhausted sound, and he took his chair at the table, closing his eyes for a minute as his internal clock ticked reassuringly in his head. After five minutes had passed, he rubbed the heels of his palms against his eyes and stood, getting himself a glass of water. 

"Dinner'll be ready in twenty," he said, and Mick nodded, leaving his chair to saunter into the living room again, where Leonard could hear the sound of the television playing. 

Leonard decided that he wouldn't fuss about Lisa watching television instead of finishing her homework first, and he tidied up the kitchen while he was waiting on the oven timer. His stomach rumbled as the kitchen began to fill with the smell of cooking food, so he stepped out, leaning against the doorjamb leading into the living room and taking the opportunity to watch Mick and Lisa. 

Mick dwarfed Lisa on the couch, his beefy arm carelessly draped along the back of it, and Leonard tracked the changes, wondering when Mick had grown so big. He still remembered Mick as a scrawny kid from juvie with hard eyes and a mean right hook. He wondered if the changes in him were as obvious as the ones in Mick.

"Quit being creepy and sit on the damn couch with us," Lisa complained, and Leonard arched his eyebrow, uncurling from the entrance to the kitchen and sitting on the couch next to her, sandwiching her between him and Mick. 

"What did I say about language?"

Lisa shrugged. "Mick says worse stuff all the time."

"Mick."

Mick sank lower on the cushion as he glared at the television. "Snitch."

Leonard didn't smile, but it was a close thing. Lisa stretched out on the couch between them, plopping her head on Leonard's thigh, and he looked down at her before he cautiously stroked her hair. Sometimes it hit him out of the blue, how lucky he was to have her. It might have been easier in the short term, had he successfully stolen the sapphire and fenced it before leaving Central, but there was something meaningful about this, about trying to eke out a real life that owed nothing of itself to his father.

Mick's gaze caught his, and Leonard smiled, still moving his fingers through Lisa's hair. He wanted to give her all the gentleness that their father had been incapable of, wanted the bad memories to scar over, just like the scar on her collarbone. Mick's support was unexpected, but it was important to Leonard in a way that made his chest hurt when he thought too hard about it. This was his family, minus one special little boy, and Lewis would never lay his hands on any of them again.

~*~

The sun came up as Leonard finished the last patrol of the night, nodding to Eric, his day shift replacement. "Slow night."

Eric smiled in commiseration. "Aren't they all?" 

"Only when I'm lucky."

Eric chuckled and then jerked his head toward a black door to the far left that said 'Employees Only.' "Boss wants to see you a minute before you clock out."

Leonard pressed two fingers to his forehead in a lazy salute of acknowledgement and headed for the door, unlocking it and sliding inside. He had only been to the manager's office twice, once for his interview and once for the tour and his orientation. He still cased the hallway, as was his habit, sweeping his eyes back and forth, cataloging how many doors leading out from the hall were open, how many lights he saw through half-closed blinds, how many seconds it took to walk down the long, carpeted hall to speak with his supervisor. His breath quickened as he thought of every possible thing he could have done wrong, and he tapped his fingers against his thigh as his thoughts spiraled into worst case territory. He needed this job too badly. The more rational part of him understood that he was fine, and he managed to shut down the squirm of panic that had threatened his calm, stopping the drum of his fingers and squeezing his hand into a fist. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in, come in. Close the door, if you don't mind?" Leonard stepped inside and pushed the door shut behind him, noting the desk, the way Mr. Babblek extended his hand for Leonard to shake. "I know it's late for you, so I won't keep you long."

"It's cool." Leonard shook Mr. Babblek's hand, a short, perfunctory touch, and he took the offered seat. "Did you need something?"

"That's what I like about you, Leonard. You're a hard worker."

Leonard frowned, but he leaned back into the chair, consciously reminding himself to relax. No one would start a firing with a compliment. At least, he didn't think it'd work that way. "Thanks."

"I'll be frank." Mr. Babblek interlaced his fingers. "You're a clever, meticulous guy. What are your plans for the future?"

Leonard blinked. "You called me in here to talk about my future?"

"When we hired you," Mr. Babblek said, "I told myself, here's a guy with a plan. This is a guy that wants something. You've got your head screwed on the right way. Are you going to school?"

"I—no." Leonard shifted in his chair. "I—"

Mr. Babblek raised his hand to forestall Leonard's next words, and considering Leonard had no idea what he was actually going to say, it was a relief. "If you want to stay in security, you've got options. Get certification in gaming, and you could head down to Tunica, rake in the money at the casinos. You could even get some extra training at the police academy—"

Leonard scoffed. "Not happening." The very idea made his stomach clench. "I, uh. I appreciate this, but I've really gotta go. I have things I need to do."

"I understand." Mr. Babblek stood and extended his hand again. "I didn't mean to spook you. Just think about what I said."

Leonard shook his hand and nodded. "Thanks for the talk." He glanced at his watch as he left the office and frowned. He could make it home in time to take Lisa to school if he got lucky with traffic. He clocked out, taking off his name tag and waving good bye to Eric as he headed out the door.

He wasn't lucky. 

Leaving even ten minutes later than usual got him stuck in rush hour traffic, and a fender bender farther down the street slowed everyone down to a crawl. The seconds ticked away in Leonard's head as he tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, and he felt like the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland—late, late, late.

By the time he pulled into the parking space in front of his apartment, he was forty-five minutes late. Mick stepped out of the apartment as Leonard turned off the engine, and he sighed, shaking his head as he got out of his car.

Mick leaned against the door and held out his hand, offering Leonard one of the beers he was holding. "Don't worry about Lisa. I got her to school." 

The tension rushed out of Leonard all at once, and he took the beer, chugging a long swallow. Nine AM was his evening, so screw it. He tilted his head, staring at the beer in Mick's hand, and gestured vaguely with his bottle. 

Mick grunted, understanding Leonard without a word. "I didn't drink before I took her. Asshole."

Leonard smirked and brought the beer back up to his lips. "I didn't say anything."

"When do you have to?" Mick took a swig of his drink and looked out toward the parking lot, casing the place the same way Leonard often did.

Leonard looked down, staring at his beer as he shifted his feet. "Thanks," he muttered to the vicinity of his shoes. It was a thank you for everything, for sticking around, for watching Lisa when Leonard couldn't.

"Shut up." Mick's gaze swung back to meet Leonard's, intense and almost angry. "We're partners. No one's gonna look out for us but us."

Leonard nodded and lowered his eyes back to the beer bottle. Mick was walking a thin line to help him out. He knew that. Mick's luck was going to run out the more often he pulled at his contacts. Even without the stealing, some day soon, Mick's need for the flame would break their careful equilibrium. But that was all in the future, and at that moment, Leonard was unspeakably grateful that he wasn't alone.

"How're we doing on money?" Mick's voice was soft, gruff in the way that meant he was trying to be delicate, but it made Leonard tense all over again, coiled tight with anxiety.

Leonard closed his eyes and rolled his shoulders. "We've got three weeks worth of her lessons left. I can put her tuition on a credit card."

Mick grunted. "After that, we're screwed, huh? Straight and narrow ain't treatin' you very good."

"I'm not gonna talk about this again, Mick."

A muscle twitched in Mick's jaw, and he averted his eyes. "Whatever." He finished his beer and then let the bottle dangle from his hand. "I won't be here tomorrow. Helping out one of the Families."

Leonard exhaled. "Mick."

Mick chuckled. "Keep sayin' my name, you're gonna wear it out." Leonard pinned Mick with an unamused glare, and Mick sobered up, his smile fading. "I'll be careful."

Leonard stepped forward, tapping Mick in the chest with his beer bottle."No fires. Get out of there the minute you think anything's wrong."

"I know the drill." Mick snatched Leonard's bottle from his hand and finished it off, heading back into the apartment.

"Then you need to remember it." Leonard followed Mick, shutting the door and trailing after Mick as he went to throw the bottles in the trash can just inside the kitchen. "I've got a bad feeling. You can't keep taking risks like this. It's not like it used to be. If you get arrested—"

"You worry too much. It ain't gonna happen." 

Mick sounded so sure, but Leonard remembered too clearly the close calls that they'd had, how one slip would add another mark on Mick's record, how much harder it would make everything for them. Leonard shook his head and pushed past Mick, lowering his eyes and looking at the sink as he squeezed the edge of the counter. Mick took a few steps toward Leonard and planted his heavy hands on Leonard's shoulders, squeezing once, awkwardly, like he was trying to provide some sort of comfort. 

"Snart. I'm raising a kid with you. I ain't going nowhere."

Leonard's head throbbed—he didn't know if he had a headache because of Mick, because he was tired, or if he'd just started going through caffeine withdrawal, and there was something deep inside of him that felt shaken loose. He turned around, misjudging how close Mick was. Mick's hands slid down his shoulders to rest at the bend of his elbows, and Leonard couldn't help but stare at Mick with a wary sort of wonder, because of course they were partners, they had each other's backs, but Leonard had never felt it quite so concretely as he did that very moment. 

Mick's face grew taut, and his fingers tightened on Leonard's shirt an instant before he yanked Leonard forward, and Leonard blinked, the pure white noise of shock buzzing low in his brain as he cataloged everything: the sound his shoes made against the linoleum, how off-balance he was, how he'd reached up to grab Mick's arm at the last minute, the hard, rough press of Mick's mouth against his. Mick was warm and solid and _there_ and Leonard couldn't remember the last time he'd been touched like this—A year? Two? At some point in his life before Barry—and Leonard couldn't gather his thoughts, his mind suspended in surprise. 

Then Mick let him go, his face hard but not quite angry. He shook Leonard once, almost as if he could hardly bring himself to let go. "You can't look at a guy like that, Len. Damn it." Mick pushed away from Leonard and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Leonard stumbled on watery legs to the kitchen table and sank down onto one of the chairs. His face was aching and everything hurt, like he was wrung out to the core. Mick had—Mick had—and _damn it_. Leonard could hear his father now, echoing in his head. It couldn't be helped if you were bonded to another man, but to actively _choose_ it— Leonard rubbed his hands hard over his face. He was exhausted, stressed, unable to pick his way through what had happened until it made sense, so he took a deep breath and counted to ten. Released it. Then he did it again. And again. He waited five minutes for Mick to come back, but Mick didn't return, maybe waiting to see if Leonard was going to go after him, maybe clearing his own head.

"I'm too tired for this crap," Leonard said to his empty apartment, and then he stood, walking toward his room. 

He was surprised that his legs held him up without complaint, surprised that the world wasn't tilting on its axis, and he kicked off his shoes, crawling on top of his bed and pulling his pillow over his head. Surely it would make sense with some sleep. He hoped.

~*~

Lisa was doing her homework in the living room when Mick came back, and Leonard closed his cookbook, double checking the temperature of the oven and bending down to peer at the chicken through the oven door just to give himself something to do.

"What's four times eight thousand and twenty-two?" Lisa asked, and the trod of Mick's footsteps paused.

"Three."

"You're lying," Lisa complained. "Lenny wouldn't tell me either."

"There you go. Do your own homework instead of asking someone to do it for you."

"You both suck." 

Leonard couldn't help rolling his eyes at Lisa's injured tone, and he leaned back against the counter, folding his arms over his chest as Mick shuffled his way into the kitchen.

"Hey."

"Hey." Leonard watched as Mick rubbed his hands against his jeans. "That's all you got?"

Mick's shoulders drew up, his big hands clenching into fists. "I dunno. Thought we just… wouldn't talk about it."

Leonard cocked his head. "Maybe this is something we should talk about." He moved away from the kitchen counter and took a careful, measured step in Mick's direction, approaching Mick the way he would a skittish animal. When Mick didn't move, Leonard made his way over to the kitchen table and leaned against that, reaching out to bump Mick's elbow with his. "Being physical. Is that something that you want? Because if it is… if you need that from me—I'm not…" His fingers twitched, motioning at the space between the two of them. "This isn't something I can choose."

Mick shook his head and rubbed his hand hard over his face. "No. I don't want—that. I'm good with what we got, okay?"

Leonard tilted his head, studying the side of Mick's face for a second. He wanted to ask why but knew that would just chase Mick away again. "Okay," he said finally. "We cool?"

Mick nodded once, short and sharp. "We're cool."

Leonard exhaled, slow and easy. "Okay. You staying for dinner?"

Mick shook his head. "I've gotta run. I just wanted to give you this." He dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out a key with a room number keychain dangling from it. "In case the job goes wrong, I need you to get my stuff."

Leonard narrowed his eyes. "You're going?"

Mick glared back at Leonard. "How much do we need for Lisa's stuff again?" Leonard's eyes narrowed further, and they glared at each other for another minute before they looked away, silently agreeing to disagree.

"I've got a bad feeling, Mick. I know I mentioned that before, but if you're gonna do it anyway..." Leonard looked at the refrigerator, where one of Lisa's drawings was carefully centered, pinned at the corners by magnets. "Don't take your gun. Don't set anything on fire."

"I'll be careful." Mick paused for a minute or two and then stepped away from the table. "I gotta go."

Leonard nodded, although Mick wasn't looking and wouldn't see it, and followed him slowly out to the living room.

Mick reached down and ruffled Lisa's hair, earning an annoyed squeal as she tried to flatten her hair back down. "See ya later, small fry."

"You're not going to eat dinner with us?" Lisa hesitated, as if she was unsure how to feel and then turned to glare at Leonard on purpose. "Are you kicking 'im out again?"

Leonard shook his head. "No, I'm not kicking him out. He's got stuff to do."

Lisa snorted. "Mick never has stuff to do."

"Keep talking," Mick rumbled, and he looked at Leonard one more time before he left.

Lisa got to her knees and turned to face Leonard, resting her chin on the back of the couch. "Are you guys fighting again?"

"We aren't fighting, Lise. I promise." Leonard arched his eyebrow, looking at her pointedly because her knees were on the couch, but Lisa ignored him and bit her lip.

"Cross your heart?"

Leonard sighed. "Cross my heart. Will you sit your butt down and finish your homework? I want that worksheet done before dinner." She flopped onto her couch cushion and bellowed a groan of such despair that Leonard found himself smirking at her theatrics. "Chill out, kiddo."

It was worth the pillow she threw at him. She missed anyway.

~*~

It was hours later, Lisa sleeping with her head pillowed on Leonard's thigh and the television playing quietly, that the phone rang. Leonard didn't startle, but it was a near thing, and he settled Lisa down with a pillow before he answered. It was Mick. He knew it even before the recording to accept a collect call began to play. Leonard rubbed his hand over his face and accepted the call.

There was a moment of static, and then Mick said, "I screwed up."

Leonard shook his head, even though there was no one to see it. "What're they charging you with?"

Mick grunted. "Misdemeanor burglary and resisting arrest." Another static-filled pause. "I didn't have a gun."

"Funny," Leonard said icily. "Wasn't it just this morning you said you weren't going anywhere?"

Mick sighed, low and heavy over the line. "Say what you gotta say."

Leonard gritted his teeth hard enough that his jaw ached. Mick was going to be in jail for a few months, at least, and he didn't want to fight. "I'll send some money to your commissary. Call me when you're sentenced."

"Lenny"—Leonard froze, a moment away from disconnecting the call—"I'm sorry."

"I know, Mick." Leonard shook his head. "Me, too." 

He hung up and braced himself against the wall, anger bubbling inside of him. He wanted a beer, but it only reminded him of his dad and the way alcohol only made the anger worse. He scooped Lisa up off the couch and took her to bed, tucking her in and waiting for her to settle again before he took the key that Mick gave him out of his pocket. At least he'd been given the night off. He could be grateful for small miracles.

It took him two minutes to decide not to wait to get Mick's things—the robbery was probably on the evening news, and if there was anyone who knew where Mick was staying, it could get inconveniently messy. Leonard checked on Lisa one more time and left a note on the coffee table in case she woke up before he came back, and then he left the apartment, locking the door behind him. 

The drive to Mick's motel took ten minutes, and even though it was early evening, there weren't many people around. The kinds of people who stayed in seedy places like these usually minded their own business.

Leonard opened the glove compartment and pulled on the pair of gloves he kept there before he casually got out of his car and headed toward Mick's room, unlocking the door and slipping quietly inside. He flipped on the light, surveyed the room, and headed for the small inset closet to grab Mick's duffel bag. He grabbed Mick's clothes off the hangers and shoved them into the bag, methodically going through each drawer in the small dresser to make sure he didn't miss anything. He found the two books and the lighter Mick always carried with him and shoved those into the bag as well. A quick check in the bathroom to grab Mick's toothbrush and the complimentary bottles of shampoo and conditioner, and then—Leonard pulled the blankets off Mick's bed to make sure nothing was hiding. He found Mick's gun beneath his pillow and paused for just a second before he slid the gun into the back of his jeans, adjusting his clothes to hide the bulge of it against the small of his back. Under the mattress, he found two ragged white envelopes, and he thumbed through them quickly—he wouldn't take drugs anywhere near Lisa, even if they were Mick's—but they were filled with money instead, so he slipped them into his inside jacket pocket. 

There wasn't anything else of interest in the small room, so Leonard threw the blankets back on the bed and left the key on the nightstand, since the door would lock behind him. Fifteen minutes to toss Mick's room and another ten to account for traffic, and he was safe at home in his apartment in a total of thirty-five minutes. He checked on Lisa again, who hadn't moved, and then threw his note away. There was a beer with his name on it waiting in the fridge, but first he retreated back into his room, removing the gun from his waistband and ejecting the clip. He checked the chambers of the gun to make sure there wasn't anything already primed and then locked it and the clip in the lockbox at the top of his closet, along with Mick's money. He'd keep them until Mick was sentenced and then get the money transferred. He owed Mick that much, even if Mick couldn't be trusted to think things through.

At ten o'clock, Leonard switched on the news, listening to the information on the attempted burglary. They showed the mug shots of Mick and his accomplices, and Leonard shook his head, resting his chin on his interlaced fingers. He wasn't going to feel guilty about this, not when it was Mick's choice to do something stupid. Even if it was for Leonard and Lisa. There was no report of fire, and they had surrendered peacefully, with no casualties. It could have been much worse.

Mick was in the pen for the foreseeable future, and Leonard still had to figure out a way to earn three grand before the next tuition payment at the end of the month.

Damn it.

~*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Len meets Barry again. :D


	6. An Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard struggled with a life on the straight and narrow, juggling work and responsibilities. A chance meeting reminded him what he was missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My guys, this chapter has been a long time in coming. Thank you so much for your patience and for sticking with me, and I hope this was worth the wait.
> 
> Thanks to dungeonmarm and saekwha for holding my hand and encouraging me, even when I thought I wasn't going to get anywhere with this.

~*~

Running his credit card to pay the next payment of Lisa's tuition made Leonard's head ache, and he quickly put his hands in his jeans pockets to hide how sweaty his palms were from nerves. Ten seconds, and his credit card was maxed out. The receptionist made out a receipt for him and he smiled tightly, carefully folding the little slip of paper and sliding it into his inner jacket pocket.

In a way, he was almost grateful for the things Lewis had instilled in him. He'd scrimped and pinched their money in every place he could think of, and his credit card was the last resort. He refused to get another—it felt weird and wrong to have identification with his real name on it.

Leonard eased out of the office, forcing his shoulders back as he walked toward his bike. He wasn't going to be weak, not when he was the only one Lisa could count on. Losing Mick was hard enough on her without Leonard losing his shit, too.

He started the drive home and took a deep breath of the cooling fall air—it was going to get colder, and he had to think about updating Lisa's wardrobe. She was starting to gain more muscle from the skating, and Leonard knew she had to be due for a growth spurt. He added it to his mental list of things he needed to think about and let himself into the apartment. It was quiet without anyone else, and he laid out on the couch, flinging an arm over his eyes. 

Maybe a second job would be the answer, but entrusting Lisa to someone else while he was gone frustrated Leonard to no end. There had to be another way to do it. He just couldn't see all the pieces, too tired and too heartsick to concentrate. He shifted on the couch when something poked him uncomfortably in the center of his back, and he scowled, reaching behind him to try and dig it out.

It was Barry's little car — it must have fallen out of his jacket when he flopped onto the sofa. Barry. Just another weight on his mind that he didn't need, a silent reminder of his promise, and he was _trying_ , kid, there was no reason to be so judgmental about everything. 

Leonard got off the couch and went to his room, setting the car out of the way on his dresser. He was going to lose it if he kept carrying it around like that.

He stared at the car for one second, maybe two, and then looked down at his watch. He had time before he had to pick Lisa up from school, so he sat down on his bed and untied his shoes, setting them within easy reach before he set the alarm.

~*~

The thirty minute doze did Leonard some good, and he felt more clear-headed, even if the brief break hadn't given him any ideas on what he should do. He'd relied on Mick too heavily, he could see that now. Having a small network meant fewer people able to betray you, but it also meant everything was more difficult if someone was taken out of the equation.

He headed out for a walk, just to get himself out of the apartment, trying to push away his circling thoughts. For a wild moment, he missed his grandpa, and he wondered how the hell the old man had made everything seem so goddamned easy. 

Or maybe he hadn't. The days he and Lisa had spent with their grandfather were colored with nostalgia, and they'd had to go back home every time anyway.

Len was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see the other man on the sidewalk until it was too late—they collided hard, and Leonard stumbled back a step from the force.

"Watch where you're going! Jesus!"

Leonard frowned and gave the guy an annoyed once-over before he pointedly looked at the empty sidewalk around them. "Goes both ways. Plenty of sidewalk to go around."

They both glared for a minute before they eventually skirted around each other, like two feral cats who had accidentally found themselves fighting for territory in an alley, and went their opposite ways.

Leonard, seething at the annoyance and already counting down the minutes until he had to pick up Lisa, looked down at his hand, at the pointed, squarish shape hidden in the sleeve of his jacket. Disbelief washed over him, and he shook his wrist with a resigned sigh, allowing the wallet to fall into his palm.

He was perfectly torn in two — half of him was chagrined, a little embarrassed, disappointed that he'd taken something without even consciously thinking about it during that first impact. The other half of him was sparking with adrenaline, with satisfaction, a fierce pleasure that he got away with it, that he was still good even after all this time out of practice.

He idly flipped the wallet open and rifled through it. Three dollars, a Blockbuster membership, an ID. Disappointing and ultimately a waste. He looked around and found a mailbox, tossing the wallet in before he continued on his way. He was a little more awake, his fingertips itching to move even when he stuck them into his pockets.

He wasn't going to get by on playing it straight. Not if he was going to give Lisa the life she deserved. He'd been letting Mick pick up the slack because it felt good not to be alone, but Leonard had always known that ultimately he only had himself to rely on. He was smart, but he was getting desperate. Barry was only five — he wouldn't understand what Leonard needed to do to survive, and he couldn't hold himself to a child's moral accountability.

The excuse didn't fly, not even in his head, but there was at least another two months of tuition payments before the semester ended and Lisa could be considered for a scholarship. Leonard ended his walk early, keeping his head down as he went to get the car, a tentative plan already forming in the back of his mind. He was quick and agile, and as long as he stayed careful, maybe he could pull a miracle out of thin air.

~*~

Stealing, when it came down to it, was a matter of timing. You found your mark, got in and got out. It was better when you had something particular to focus on — Leonard had always been partial to jewels — and anything else would just be icing on the cake. The adrenaline rush of accidentally pick-pocketing that stranger made Leonard want to do it again, but he was too smart to be led around by his vices. Not when he already had a plan.

He picked up Lisa, noting the ATMs as they passed them on the road. "How was school, Lise?"

"It was fine," Lisa sighed. "Just boring." She looked at Leonard, and he spared a second to glance at her from the corner of his eye.

"C'mon kid. Spill."

"I just — Ms. Nicks said I'd probably be able to do a recital in a month or two," she said, biting her bottom lip. "D'you think Mick'll be out by then?"

"He's got at least eight, train wreck. Even with good behavior." Leonard took her hand in his and briefly squeezed her fingers. "But maybe he'll be there for the next one. He's going to be impressed by how good you've gotten."

Lisa rolled her eyes. "He won't even notice."

"I'm gonna tell him you said that," Leonard teased as he pulled into their parking spot. "It's his weekly call tonight. Homework and a shower, and I'll let you monopolize the conversation."

Lisa tossed her hair over her shoulder and climbed out of the passenger seat, closing the car door a little too hard. Leonard followed after her, and by the time he made it to the door, she was already sitting on the sofa, pulling out her homework for the evening. He shook his head and went into the kitchen to make their dinner.

By the time Mick called, Lisa had finished everything she needed for the night, so Leonard accepted the fee for the collect call and handed her the phone. She immediately started telling Mick about everything she'd done that week. Leonard looked through the paper, pretending not to listen to her, but — he knew she was lonely without Mick around. Leonard knew Lisa loved him, that he was practically her second dad. Things were just… different.

It was almost time for Lisa's bedtime — and for Leonard to hurry to work — when she pouted and turned the phone over to him. "He wants to talk to you, he says."

"So jealous," Leonard teased. "Go on. Go to bed. I'll say goodbye before I leave."

Lisa stuck her tongue out and flounced into her room. 

Leonard closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Yeah?"

"You didn't keep my money." Mick's voice was flat, angry.

"You need it more than we do."

"The hell, Snart?"

Leonard rolled his shoulders, feeling his neck pop from the strain. "I've got it under control. Keep focused, Mick. You worry about us out here, and you'll screw up in there." 

The silence was thick, broken only by the noise of the prison from Mick's end. 

"Mick. Listen to me."

"I'm listenin'," Mick growled. "Got a lighter, it'll keep me."

"Best behavior," Leonard reiterated yet again.

"Quit with your nagging," Something rustled on Mick's end, and Mick swore under his breath. "My time's up. Next week?"

"Lisa wouldn't miss it," Leonard agreed, and waited generously for Mick to end the call on his end, and then he got up, knocking on Lisa's door and waiting for her invitation before he peeked inside. "How's it going, kiddo? Pajamas? Teeth brushed? Your bag ready to grab tomorrow morning?"

"Yes, yes, and yes," Lisa said, counting each one on her fingers before she hopped into bed and pulled up the covers.

"Good." He tucked her in and looked at her for just a second longer, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "Don't answer the door for anyone. I'll be home in the morning to take you to school."

She rolled her eyes. "You don't have to treat me like a baby, Lenny. I'm almost _ten_."

" _Right_." He stepped away from the bed. "I forgot you're all grown up now. Guess you can start helping out with the rent, huh?" 

She stuck out her tongue for good measure and burrowed beneath her blankets.

Then it was time to go to work, and Leonard left, even though every part of him wanted to stay.

~*~

He didn't put his plan into motion all at once. He had to move fast, but that wasn't an excuse to be sloppy. Central was his town — he knew it like the back of his hand, could navigate it with his eyes closed, even if he'd learned to steer away from the kind of people he used to spend time with. He parsed the ATMs scattered around the city, discovered every security camera, lost sleep to track what times had the most foot traffic. This — making the plan, preparing, letting the excitement and adrenaline simmer in him until he found the moment to strike — this was what he'd lived for when he was eighteen, aged out of juvie and desperate to show that he was good at _something_.

The muscle memory was all there, and he took a walk during the lunchtime traffic of the office workers. They were mostly middle to upper class white people, and more importantly, distracted by the constraints of their lunch hour, eager to flee the cages of their offices and perhaps not quite as wary as they should have been. He pulled his ball cap low over his face, tugged on the edges of his thin gloves, and moved with the ebb and flow of the crowd, letting natural stalls in pace work in his favor.

The first day, he stole five wallets, netting about three hundred and fifty in cash. Twenty minutes, and he had enough money to pay for Lisa's skating lessons for the next two weeks. The adrenaline made his heart pound, and he almost couldn't breathe over his relief. He pocketed the cash and threw the wallets into a mailbox, and then had to find a public bench so he could sit a moment. It was always the rush that got him into trouble, and he needed to be better than that now.

He leaned back against the bench and took a deep breath, two, waiting patiently until the adrenaline had left his system. He couldn't go to the same place every day, that would be too suspicious. Mounds View would be a good place to try next — it was small, trendy, full of tourists. Maybe the Danville shopping district. The important thing was that he couldn't be sloppy. If he could net even a hundred dollars a day, it would change things for the better, give him more room to breathe. And he could admit, now that he'd gotten away, that he hadn't had so much fun in _weeks_.

Maybe he'd surprise Lisa and take her out to dinner before he went to work. Surely they deserved that much.

Leonard stood and walked a meandering path to his bike, unlocking his helmet, and drove back home, where he could safely stash his haul. He tucked the money into the top drawer of his dresser but froze when the red car rolled slowly across the top of his dresser and into the open drawer, jolted into motion by his scavenging. "Don't look at me like that," he muttered, and he shut the car in the drawer as well.

~*~

The thing about stealing — the thing about being good at it — was that it was addictive. The subterfuge, the sleight of hand, the adrenaline rush when he successfully snatched someone's wallet, the relief when he found cash and the occasional ATM card that had its PIN written on the back all combined into a satisfaction so deep that it couldn't be matched.

He was always careful with the money afterward. He kept it stashed in his top drawer and waited as long as he could before he started to add his… earnings, for lack of a better word, into their tight finances. It was all for Lisa's schooling, so he didn't mind pulling twenty dollars out for a school field trip, although buying Lisa a new pair of ice skates after a growth spurt worried him a little more.

Mick continued his weekly calls to Lisa, and she chattered endlessly about her lessons and how she could do a triple salchow and how her dancing class was her second favorite part of the day and she wished Mick would come home already so he wouldn't miss her first recital.

Mick never asked to speak with Leonard anymore. Leonard wasn't surprised.

Lisa was happier, Leonard thought, as he watched her on the phone, forgetting for a moment that Mick couldn't see her as she gestured wildly during a story about school. All he had to do was continue to be careful, keep his head down and his focus on Lisa, and just maybe they'd make it.

When Mick eventually got out, Leonard would keep a better eye on him, too.

~*~

It was early afternoon, with Lisa still in school and hours to go before Leonard had to work, so he took the quiet interlude as an opportunity. Armed with his envelope of carefully-curated coupons and his shopping list, he went to the grocery store to stock up on some essentials. There was a sale on Rice-a-Roni box mix, and he shamelessly dumped the maximum five allowed into his cart before he continued down the row.

He tapped his fingers against the hard plastic of the cart's handle until he realized with a start that he had zoned out trying to decide between two different boxes of cereal. He rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head to try and clear the buzzing white noise from his ears before he set the box of Cheerios back onto its place on the shelf.

"Mommy! I wanna get out!"

The boy's voice was strikingly familiar, and Leonard froze, his heartbeat picking up with nervousness. He ignored the clatter of the cart behind him and focused on the end of the row, only a few steps away, wondering if he should abandon his cart and make a run for it.

There was a sharp gasp behind him, and he closed his eyes, knowing it was too late right before a delighted scream split the air.

" _Len_!" Barry shrieked, and Leonard whirled around, half out of surprise and half out of sheer terror, only for Barry to fling himself forward, clinging to Len's leg and squeezing it in a tight hug. Leonard grew lightheaded from the fierceness of Barry's greeting, the sensation of hugging and being hugged warring in his mind. 

"Barry!" Nora hurried close, her hair in a messy bun, looking frazzled and a little embarrassed. "Don't run up to people like that!"

"No, it's — it's okay," Leonard reassured Nora, still a little dazed. His hands fluttered in the air for a moment, and then he carefully set a hand on Barry's head, sweeping back his hair. "Hey, kiddo. Your mom's right, though. You shouldn't run up to strangers like that."

Barry turned his face up, his bright smile wide enough to show a gap where a tooth used to be. "You're not a stranger! You're Len! You bought me pizza!" 

Leonard blinked, opening his mouth even though he wasn't entirely sure what he was going to say, and Nora laughed, flustered and embarrassed. "The penguin," she said. "He named it Pizza."

"That's… a great name for a bird," Leonard managed to choke out through his bemusement, and Barry's smile seemed to brighten even further, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Leonard's heart twisted painfully in his chest, and he looked back at Nora again, completely at a loss. "Well." He cleared his throat. "It was good to see you again." He gestured vaguely in the direction of his shopping cart. "I won't keep you. I'm sure you have things to do."

Barry nodded with a deep, six-year-old sternness and detached from Leonard's leg, reaching up and curling his small fingers around Len's hand instead. "Okay." He raised his other hand toward Nora and waved. "Bye, Mommy. I'm grocery shopping with Len now."

"You most certainly are not," Nora scolded, and Leonard realized he'd frozen, his breath held as though he was waiting to be scolded himself. "He's very nice, but you aren't old enough to leave with whoever you want."

"You heard your mom." Leonard pulled his hand away from Barry's and patted Barry's back, propelling him back toward Nora.

"Come on, slugger." Nora swept Barry against her side and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Oh, what is that face for?"

Leonard fully embraced the fact that he was an emotional coward and a shitty person, sneaking a few steps backward while Nora was busy with Barry. He got to his cart, but the moment he started pushing it down the aisle, Barry whipped his head around, pinning Leonard with a devastated look, tears already dangling from his eyelashes.

"I'm sorry, kid." Leonard shrugged his shoulder. "I've really got to go."

"Hey." Nora's voice was warm, and she didn't sound like she was about to kill him, so Leonard paused, raising his eyes from Barry to Nora. She had a pleasant, soft smile on her face, and it made Leonard's hackles rise. "Why don't you come to dinner tonight?"

Barry lit up like he'd gotten everything he ever wanted all at once.

"I — can't," Leonard managed to say. "My sister's coming home from school, and I need to make sure dinner's ready for her."

"Why don't you bring her along?" Nora deposited Barry in the cart and turned to Leonard with a sunny smile. "I have a roast in the crock pot, and there's only three of us at home. We'd be happy to have you both."

Leonard's heart pounded in his ears, and he wiped his sweaty palms against his jeans. "I really—"

"Please, Len?" Barry piped up, interlacing his fingers and peering over them with wide, hopeful eyes. "Please? I promise I'll be so good!"

"Here." Nora turned to her purse and pulled out a tiny notepad, flipping past the first few pages. "I'm going to give you our number. Call us to let us know if you can make it, okay?" She scrawled across the page and tore it away from the booklet, handing the telephone number to Leonard. "Henry would be happy to meet you. Barry couldn't stop talking about you after the museum."

"Uh." Leonard's tongue felt thick in his mouth, and he was off balance in a way he wasn't accustomed to. "Thanks. I guess I'll talk to my sister and see if we can make it." He accepted the telephone number and shoved it into his pocket before he waved awkwardly at Barry and Nora. Barry enthusiastically waved back.

Rather than stand there and stare at them like an idiot, Leonard turned back to his grocery cart and continued moving down the aisle. He'd never expected to see Barry again, which seemed so foolish in hindsight. They lived in the same city. Lisa went to a good school. He was so clouded by work and exhaustion that it seemed like they lived in two separate worlds, but that really wasn't the case.

He would have to find a new store for his grocery shopping.

Leonard went up to the checkout in a daze, clearing his mind only when the cashier took his first item and ran it over the scanner. 

He paid for his groceries and looked at the time. He wasn't late for anything, at least, and he took a deep breath to calm himself, letting the seconds wind down in his mind as he went home to unload his groceries and get prepared to bring Lisa home.

He needed to make dinner.

He needed to get ready for work.

He needed to not fall apart like a complete asshole and get his shit together.

Nora was just so damned _nice_. She didn't know anything about Leonard, about his dad, about the life he was living to give Lisa the opportunities she needed, and he was ashamed, like he was hiding a secret — he _was_ hiding a secret, and there was no way to bring the subject up without looking like a complete lunatic.

Leonard went through the motions, tidying up the apartment even though he already knew it was scrupulously clean, going into Lisa's room to make her bed, and when it was finally time to pick her up from dance class, he was still twitchy with nerves.

She took one look at him and frowned, crossing her arms. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." He shot a look at her from the corners of his eyes. "How was dance?"

She pursed her mouth and slumped back into her seat, letting him off the hook. "It was great. Miss Nadu even said I might be able to get a solo on our next recital."

"Keep working hard," he said, the corner of his mouth turning up in a grin. "Show them all what to do on the stage, kid."

She turned to him, her eyes fired up with determination, and he could see, even now, the kind of woman she had the potential to grow into. "Lenny, I'm going to be so good they'll give me solos _every_ time."

Leonard ruffled her hair. "That's the spirit."

"What's for dinner?" Lisa chewed on a hangnail. 

Leonard tugged her finger from her mouth, earning a scowl and a roll of her eyes. "Well—" He hesitated, Nora's invitation sitting uncomfortably at the forefront of his mind. "I guess that depends on you."

She cocked her head to the side and looked at him. "What d'you mean?"

He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. "The kid that gave me the car. I ran into him and his mom today."

"Oh." The flat way she said the word spoke volumes, and he fought the urge to shake his head. He was letting her talk to Mick way too often.

"Yeah, _oh_. I went grocery shopping, so we're not hurting for food at home. Or we can go to their place for dinner and get free food. You can meet him. If you want."

Lisa searched his face. "You want to go, don't you?"

Leonard refused to look away from the road, and remained silent as they moved through traffic, until they finally got home. It was hard to explain, the mixture of connection, of the bond working through him, how he was so very much _not_ alone when he was with Barry.

He decided to go with the truth. "It's hard to explain."

Lisa nodded like she didn't expect anything different. "Well, it's like you said. Free food is free food. I'm in. And if it's bad, I'll laugh at you."

"Could it be worse than another box of Hamburger Helper?" Leonard smirked and nudged her with his elbow as she made a face.

"Stop! I'm already agreeing!"

He laughed outright at that and ushered her into the apartment to take a bath and change clothes. The hardest part, of course, was taking out that piece of paper with Nora's number on it, to force his fingers to dial her number. He could accept a dinner invitation without throwing up. Maybe.

The phone rang twice, and he held his breath, hoping in the back of his mind that no one would pick up.

"Hello, Allen residence!"

Of course Nora would answer. The tension leeched from Leonard's shoulders. She'd been waiting for him to call, after all. He cleared his throat. "This is Len. I'm calling about dinner tonight?"

"Wonderful." Nora's voice was calm and firm, but not distant. She actually sounded pleased. "You and your sister are coming, aren't you?"

"Yeah, we are." He ran his hand over his head, outwardly nervous only because there was no one else in the room with him.

"I'm happy to hear that," Nora said. She gave him the address — he very kindly didn't tell her he already knew — and then she surprised him. "Do you or your sister have any allergies?"

"Lisa," Leonard said, finally speaking her name. This dinner wasn't a hypothetical anymore. He couldn't keep her hidden. "And we don't have any allergies, but… I don't eat pork."

"Oh my goodness. That changes my plans for the green beans. We'll see you both at six, then?"

"We'll be there. Thank you, Nora."

"It's our pleasure, Len."

When Leonard hung up the phone, he discovered that Lisa was already out of her bath, sitting on the sofa in a pretty dress. She was focusing on braiding her hair in a neat plait, and he was struck all over by how fast she was growing up.

"You okay?"

She arched her eyebrow — he couldn't comment on it, because she definitely picked up that habit from him.

"That's a tell, you know."

Leonard frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "You need to stop talking to Mick." 

"It is, though. Every time you ask me if I'm okay, I always feel like I should be the one asking you." 

Lisa finished her braid but fumbled at the last second, her hair unravelling when she tried to put a hair tie at the end. Leonard, relieved to have something to do, took the hair tie and corrected the braid, finishing it up and patting her head.

"I think you'll like Barry. He's a nice kid."

"Ugh," Lisa said, with feeling. "I don't ever want to resonate. It sounds like a pain in the ass."

"Please don't use that language when we're there," Leonard said. "We want them to think you're respectable."

"That's gonna be tough, seeing as I'm with you and all." She smirked at him, but he just sighed and shook his head.

"Homework. Get it done before we leave."

Lisa scowled, but Leonard ignored her, picking up her backpack and depositing it next to her on the sofa.

He made another call to work, bargaining with Eric so he could come in two hours late, and then left Lisa to do her homework so he could get dressed.

He decided on simple, since he really didn't have that much in his closet to begin with — jeans, black long-sleeved shirt, a flannel button up. Casual but not trashy, and Leonard pushed the thought to the side, refusing to examine his feelings. He and Lisa were _worthy_ , damn it, and that wouldn't change, no matter what the Allens thought of them.

Approximately twenty minutes before they were due, he verified that Lisa's homework was done (it was) and bundled her into the car. 

The Allens' house looked very much the same as when he'd first tracked Barry down, and Lisa stiffened in her seat when they pulled into the driveway.

"Len," she whispered, "their house is so _nice_."

"Yeah."

She reached over and squeezed his hand, and he wondered how much he was obviously freaking out. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy." 

He exhaled, and then they both opened their doors at the same time.

The front door opened, and Nora waved as they came up the walkway. Leonard braced himself, expecting Barry to fly at him any minute, but instead, he realized Barry was hiding behind Nora's leg, Barry's gaze flickering between him and Lisa.

"Hello," Nora said, reaching out and clasping Leonard's hand in hers before she turned to do the same to Lisa. "I'm so glad you both could make it. Barry's being contrary right now — ten minutes ago, he wouldn't shut up, and now he's gotten shy."

Leonard grinned at that. "Kids, right?" He rested his hand on Lisa's shoulder. "Barry, this is my sister, Lisa."

Lisa's smile was brilliant as she stepped forward, and he watched her affectionately as she peered at Barry and gave him a little wave. "Nice to meet you."

"You, too," Barry said, and he ducked bashfully behind Nora again.

Nora laughed and stepped away to let Leonard and Lisa inside. The Allens had a nice house, with pictures on the hallway walls and nice, comfortable-looking furniture, and Leonard was entirely out of his depth.

"This is my husband, Henry." 

Henry was a tall, rugged-looking man, but he had a ready and welcoming smile. "Good to meet you after hearing so much. Len, was it?"

Leonard cleared his throat as they shook hands, nervousness making his heart rise in his throat. "Leonard Snart. Len's fine. Thanks for having us." He wasn't entirely sure what else to say, not particularly well-versed in small talk.

"Would you like anything to drink?" Nora offered. 

She rattled off their options as she led everyone to the living room. Leonard and Lisa took a seat on the sofa, and after a moment's hesitation, Barry crept from one side of Nora to the other and then darted onto the sofa, scrambling up the cushion and nestling against Leonard's side.

Leonard huffed a laugh and looked down at Barry, flustered and embarrassed all over again. "We just saw each other, kid."

He had to duck his head to hear Barry's muffled, "Not enough."

When he glanced back at Nora and Henry, they were wearing identical expressions of affection and amusement. _Oh_. The realization flooded Leonard in an instant. They shared an affinity — of course they did. Leonard couldn't imagine Barry's parents being anything other than soulmates, even though he didn't really understand why he'd made the assumption. Maybe it was something he'd picked up from Barry when they'd first met.

All three of them were so honest and open that he was uncomfortable, fighting the urge to fidget as they made small talk: where he worked, what school Lisa went to, her ice skating, Henry's medical practice. It was completely alien, but it was also surprisingly nice, and there was a part of Leonard that was happy to show Lisa what a loving family with parents looked like, that not everyone was like their dad.

The dinner was amazing, too: roast beef with gravy, mashed potatoes, carrots, peas. And although Lisa didn't say anything, he could feel the way she was looking at him from the corners of her eyes. Food out of the box seemed even less appetizing than usual after a meal like this.

It didn't help that Barry was kicking the rung on his chair, his legs still too short to touch the ground, and Leonard felt every kick like it was his own heels thumping against the wood. He couldn't even ask Barry to stop, not without giving away everything to Henry and Nora, so he steadied himself against it, allowing only one brief, narrow look at the kid in response.

Barry beamed again when he realized Leonard was looking at him, and then he looked at Nora and Henry with wide eyes. "I'm done with dinner. Can we go play now?"

"Sweetheart, I don't think Len's done with his food," Nora said gently.

Barry's mouth twisted in suspicion, and he looked up at Leonard as if he could verify that his mother was telling the truth. "We're done, aren't we?"

Leonard swallowed and set down his fork, the back of his head prickling with heat as he tried to avoid Barry's clear eyes.

"I'm done," Lisa said, and Leonard had never been more grateful for a rescue. "May I be excused?"

Nora's smile was gentle when she looked at Barry again. "Barry, why don't you show Lisa your room? Your father and I want to speak with Len for a moment."

Barry's eyes narrowed, and he reached for Leonard's sleeve, clutching it tightly in his hand. "Why?"

Leonard rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "Because we're adults and we can talk to each other. Go on and show Lisa your room. We'll play later."

"Dinosaurs?" Barry asked hopefully.

Leonard nodded. "Yeah, kid. We'll play dinosaurs. Save me the Stegosaurus."

Barry squinted up at Leonard. "Tyrannosaurus is better."

"Obviously," Leonard said solemnly. "That's why that one's yours."

Barry nodded and released Leonard's sleeve. "Can Lisa and I go play?" He turned his plaintive attention toward his parents, who melted in obvious affection.

"Yeah, slugger," Henry said. "Go ahead."

A simmering nervousness started low in Leonard's gut as he watched Barry and Lisa leave the room. He averted his eyes from Henry and Nora and took a sip of his water to buy himself some time.

Nora and Henry shared a look and then returned their attention back to Leonard. "We wanted to say thank you."

"W—" Leonard cleared his throat and sipped his water again. "What?"

Nora smiled, soft and sympathetic. "For letting Barry grow up on his own."

Unease prickled its way up and down Leonard's spine, and he glanced down at his half-empty plate. "I'm afraid I don't—"

"I had my suspicions," Nora said, pushing aside her plate and clasping Henry's hand in hers. "I thought the two of you Resonated, but I couldn't be sure. With Henry here, it's easier to see it."

"I… see." Leonard couldn't focus on anything, his gaze flitting from the tablecloth to the fork resting against the edge of his plate. "I'm… You must think I…"

Henry shook his head. "You haven't done anything wrong. It's just — He's so young. We're happy that you've found each other—"

"—But Barry hasn't had time to grow up." Nora shot Leonard another sympathetic look. "He hasn't had time to grow into himself. I was hoping you'd understand and continue to do what you've been doing."

"I'm sorry," Leonard said slowly. "What, exactly, have I been doing?"

"Staying away," Henry responded, squeezing Nora's hand again. "He knows you're out there. When he's old enough, he can find you then. So you can be equals, the way you were meant to be."

Leonard grit his teeth, a muscle twitching in his jaw as he fought against the contrary urge that made him want to argue. They were saying nothing he hadn't already thought of himself. "He's a kid," he finally managed to say, his voice rough and low. "I wouldn't— I wouldn't do _anything_."

"We know," Nora said delicately. "This isn't about you and what you would or would not do to Barry, Len. Believe me. It's not that at all."

"We just want to see our boy grow up with a normal childhood. Surely you can understand?" 

Leonard could feel it now, Henry and Nora Resonating. His scalp prickled again, the hair on his arms rising up at attention. "I understand."

"Good man," Henry said, and he let go of Nora's hand. The electricity in the room plummeted, and Leonard fought the urge to rub his arms and shake himself free of the residual static.

"Want a beer?" Henry rose from his seat, his eyes clear and calm as he looked to Leonard for his answer.

Yes, Leonard desperately wanted to say, but he shook his head instead. "Much as I'd like, I have to go to work after this. I'll pass."

Henry nodded, and he set his hand on Nora's shoulder before going into the kitchen.

"Why don't we see how the kids are doing?" Nora asked, and Leonard nodded, short and jerky as he rose from his seat. Henry started clearing the table, and Nora smiled at Leonard before leading him through the living room and down the hall.

"No," Leonard heard Lisa's voice first. "Close, but not really. Here, let me show you."

Leonard and Nora peeked into the room — Barry's room, it had to be. There was a Apatosaurus poster taking up half of one wall, a mural of the Enterprise flying above Barry's bed. Everything was in a pleasant scheme of dark blues.

In the center of the room, things obviously pushed aside to make space, was Lisa, extending a graceful leg behind her as she raised her arms, balancing delicately on one foot, and Barry, struggling to follow the motions that Lisa made look easy, wobbling back and forth on one foot but trying valiantly anyway.

A rush of emotion punched Leonard in the chest, lodging itself fiercely just beneath his ribcage, and his stomach tightened in response as if he'd forgotten to brace himself for a strike. He loved them both so much that he was sick with it.

He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, smiling faintly as Lisa started teaching Barry a _plié_. Barry's eyebrows knitted together in concentration as he tried to get his knees to point correctly, and then he caught sight of Leonard and Nora and abandoned the move immediately to come running over.

"Can we play now?" Barry asked plaintively, and Leonard cast an inquisitive look at Nora, who nodded.

He glanced at his watch, setting the clock in his head for when he had to leave. "Sure, Red. We can play."

Barry took Leonard's hand in his and dragged him into the room, pulling him to the line of dinosaurs he had waiting on the top of his toy chest. "Lisa wanted the raptor," he explained earnestly, and Leonard picked up his stegosaurus, already resigned to the fact that he was going to spend the next half an hour defending his plastic dinosaur from the meat eaters.

They roared and pranced their dinosaurs across the floor, and after about five minutes, Leonard recognized the glint of competitiveness in Lisa's eye, seconds before her small raptor leapt onto his stegosaurus.

Barry roared a gleeful, "Aaaarrr!" and crashed into Lisa's raptor, his tyrannosaurus knocking her away from Leonard's dinosaur.

"Not gonna get me that easy," Leonard said, skipping his dinosaur across the carpet, and Barry gave him a wide, surprised look.

"I'm not going to _eat_ you," he said. "They're _best friends_."

Leonard cocked his head. "Partners?" 

Barry nodded enthusiastically, and Leonard grinned at Lisa, as wicked as he could make it. Lisa scowled in return but bore the attack good-naturedly, until Nora cleared her throat in the doorway.

"Time for your bath, honey." Nora navigated the plastic dinosaurs on the floor and propped her hand on her hip, waiting for Barry to stand.

"Mom, we're playing." Barry stuck his lip out in a pout, and she tapped it gently with her fingers.

"Someone's going to sit on it if you keep sticking your lip out like that," she teased, and she pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "If we hurry, I'll bet Len will read you your bedtime story."

"I'm not tired," Barry insisted sourly, and Nora hid her smile, her mouth twitching at the corner.

"Hey, Red," Leonard said, letting his affection color his voice, "don't argue with your mom. It's mean."

" _You're_ mean," Barry retorted, and Leonard smirked, shrugging. 

He stood, brushing off the knees of his jeans before he set his plastic stegosaurus on Barry's toy chest again.

"Got it in one." He looked at his watch again. "Clock's ticking."

Barry's eyes widened in alarm, and he scrambled to his feet, darting out of the room.

"Don't run!" Nora called after him, and followed.

Leonard relaxed once it was only him and Lisa, and he raised a hand to the back of his neck, rolling his shoulders to release the tension.

"You never read me bedtime stories." Lisa pouted, but Leonard could tell from her eyes that she was only screwing with him.

"You want me to read you stories, train wreck?" he asked, the corner of his mouth curving into a smile. "Tucking you in isn't enough?"

Lisa snorted. "Mick's got better bedtime stories, anyway."

Leonard stared at her, his eyes narrowing to slits. "What kinda stories has he been filling your head with?"

"The best kind." Lisa grinned and extended her arms above her. "About dragons and breathing fire!"

"Of course he would." Leonard reached out and tugged playfully at the end of her braid. He turned her toward the door and patted her back, urging her forward so they could go back to the living room and wait patiently for Barry and Nora to be done. He wanted to keep himself within eyesight of someone — it was awkward wandering around in a family's private space when he didn't have the intention of casing the place for a robbery. 

He sat Lisa on the couch and looked out the window, glancing at his watch before he slid his hands in his pockets. Lisa cuddled against the arm of the couch, her head drooping onto the arm, and Leonard watched the window's reflection for Henry as he came out of the kitchen and joined Leonard in looking out the window.

"You're a good man, Len," Henry said after a moment.

Leonard scoffed, drawing his shoulders up. "Knock it off. Leaving a kid alone doesn't automatically make me good."

"Sure as hell doesn't hurt." Henry laughed and turned to look at Leonard — Leonard didn't return the favor. "But when in doubt, I trust Nora. She's a damn good judge of character."

Leonard opened his mouth to protest but looked at Lisa, drowsing on the sofa, and kept quiet.

After a few minutes, Nora came down the hallway and smiled at them. "So serious in here, I don't know how you do it." She went over to the couch and draped a throw blanket over Lisa, who was very clearly asleep, and tucked a pillow beneath her head. "Go on, Len. He's worried you left without saying goodbye."

Leonard grinned, the smile genuine, unexpected, and shook his head. "Okay. I'll read him a story, but then I've really got to go."

"Thank you," Henry said again, and Leonard waved it away, his attention returning to Lisa one more time before he headed back down the hall.

Barry was already tucked into bed, hands clenched tightly on a small book, and the sheer relief on his face when Leonard peered around the doorjamb made something ache in Leonard's chest. "Hey, kiddo. You think I'd leave without that story I promised you?"

Barry grinned and shook his head, raising his hand and pressing it over his heart. "I knew you wouldn't."

Leonard huffed a small laugh and ventured into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of Barry's bed and reaching for the book. "I'm bound to disappoint you someday, kid."

Barry shook his head with the conviction only the very young seemed to have. "You won't." He leaned over and pressed his head to Leonard's side. Leonard awkwardly dropped his hand onto Barry's head and patted his hair in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

"What did you want me to read?" He turned the book over in his hand. "The Runaway Dinosaur?"

"It's my favorite," Barry said, and he snuggled under his blankets as Leonard turned the first page.

"Once, there was a little dinosaur called a Maiasaur," Leonard read, "who lived with his mother. One day, he told his mother, 'I wish I were special like the other dinosaurs. If I were a T-Rex, I could chomp with my ferocious teeth!'"

Leonard glanced over at Barry as he read, so close he could feel the pillow beneath his cheek, the warmth of the blankets over his body as if he was the one laying in bed. When he finished the book and closed the cover, he discovered that Barry was still awake, staring up at him. 

"Thought reading you a story would make you fall asleep."

Barry shook his head. "I don't want to go to sleep. Read it again?"

Leonard looked around, hoping that Nora would magically know things weren't going according to plan and rescue him. "You're telling me you ain't tired?"

Barry shook his head again and then fought hard against a yawn. "You'll leave when I go to sleep. I'm never going to sleep."

"Hey." Leonard set the book down and looked seriously at Barry. "You're right. I'm going to leave when you go to sleep. But that doesn't mean we won't see each other again, right?"

Barry frowned. "I haven't seen you in a long time. I missed you."

Leonard sighed, and he looked back down at the book to avoid looking at Barry. "I missed you, too."

Barry pushed away his blankets and knelt on the bed, wrapping his arms around Leonard's neck as he pressed his face to Leonard's shoulder. "Please say you'll come back tomorrow."

"I can't do that," Leonard said. He curled his arm around Barry in a hug. "It'll be okay, Barry. I promise we'll see each other again."

Barry pulled away and looked Leonard in the eyes. His eyes were clear, no tears waiting to spill over, but there was a deep disappointment that Leonard felt down to his bones. "When?"

Leonard patted Barry's back. "I don't know. When you're older."

"How much older?" Barry asked sharply.

Leonard was taken aback, and he looked at Barry silently until Barry looked away.

"How much older?" Barry asked again, soft and despondent, and Leonard shook his head.

"When your parents say it's okay," Leonard said. _When I'm not terrified of you_ , he didn't say.

Barry sighed, releasing Leonard and snuggling back under his covers. "Read it one more time. Please?"

Leonard opened the front cover again and started reading one more time. He rested his hand on Barry's hair, pushing it back gently the way he did for Lisa when she was upset, and the next time he looked, almost near the end, Barry was sleeping. 

Leonard closed the book and set it on the nightstand before he rearranged the blankets around Barry, tucking him in further. He didn't want to go, and that was the problem — each time he met Barry, it was harder to leave him behind. And regardless of what Nora and Henry thought of him, Leonard wasn't a good man. He was a thief. 

The only thing that mattered was Lisa.

Staring down at Barry, it was hard to remember that.

Leonard shook his head to clear it and then turned off the light and headed back to the living room.

"He's asleep," Leonard reported. "Finally."

"Thank you," Henry said.

Leonard shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Lisa and I have gotta go, but I appreciate you letting us come tonight."

"Of course." Nora nodded and vanished into the kitchen for a minute, coming back with several plastic containers full of leftovers. "Please," she said before Leonard even opened his mouth. "You're both too skinny."

Humiliation burned in Leonard, but he forced it aside and accepted Nora's offering for what it was — kindness. "I'm only taking this because you make a mean roast beef," he said, and Nora laughed at the compliment.

"It was lovely having you here," she said. "Barry was really happy."

"It was. Nice." Leonard smiled briefly and then turned toward Lisa, crouching beside her and waking her up gently. "C'mon, train wreck. Time to go home."

Lisa yawned and pushed herself up, rubbing at her eyes as she woke up, struggling to remember where she was. "You're late for work." 

"Not late," he corrected her gently. "Just starting later than usual. Come on."

It took another minute for her to gather herself, and then she stood, brushing lint off her dress. "Thank you for having us," she told Nora and Henry politely. "Dinner was really good."

"You're welcome," Nora said, and she walked them to their car, still holding the leftovers. 

Leonard inclined his head, and Lisa nodded, getting in and buckling her seatbelt.

"Thank you again," Nora said softly as she passed Leonard the leftovers, and he shrugged, his skin prickling in response as he set the food on the floorboard of the back seat.

"Good night," Leonard said, and he joined Lisa in the car, refusing to look at Nora as he focused on the steering wheel in his hand, the gas pedal beneath his foot.

"What'd she thank you for?" Lisa asked, awake enough now that she eagerly took in the neighborhood one last time. "For coming to dinner?"

"No." Leonard put the Allen house in his rearview mirror and continued forward. "She thanked me for leaving."

~*~


End file.
